Review - The Name Of The Doctor

The title of this episode combined with the tag line it was promoted with had me very worried. Thankfully the thing I was worried about didn't happen, and I was able to very much enjoy The Name Of The Doctor.

Season 7, Episode 13 - The Name Of The Doctor

What can I say about this episode? I had to go into near Internet blackout in the lead up to its screening here in Australia to avoid spoilers. I don't think any spoilers would have diminished my enjoyment of the episode, but was glad I did. If anything the episode made me angry at whatever marketing department person it was that decided to drop that line in the poster above. Anyway, here's yet another spoiler-laden review from me.

This was yet another example of a near perfect episode structure. From the pre-credits opening hook we had a steady increase in threat and fairly natural plot exposition. The conference call was an interesting way of doing it, but it worked well and didn't seem forced. Vastra's embarrassment introducing Clara and River and River's jealousy were slightly off-putting, but that's more to do with the failure to clarify the relationship between The Doctor and Clara (platonic only, please). I loved Strax's weekend retreat though, and Jenny's "death" gave both Neve McIntosh and Catrin Stewart a chance to shine. There needs to be more of these guys, I can't say that enough.

I was simultaneously delighted and saddened with River's appearance in this episode. Although we've known she was dead since we met her, her exit this time was somehow more poignant. She will be missed, and not just because it frees the writers up to have The Doctor get freaky with someone else (please don't). Similarly I was sad to see Richard E Grant go. The Great Intelligence had potential for a wonderful recurring villain. Gods know they could use one now that they threw The Master away (such a waste). All of that was made up for by the appearance of John Hurt at the end. That scene alone has me so fired up for the 50th Anniversary Special. I'm hoping for more on The Time War and The Doctor's part in it. 

The Whispermen were nice and creepy and actually threatening too, which was good. I can't work out if they were maybe slightly underutilised or if there was just a lot packed into this episode. They were, however, another example of the "advance slowly and be menacing" variety of monster that seems to be becoming more prevalent in the show of late.

I can see now why they didn't have Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS play out like I suggested. They were saving that trick for Clara's journey through The Doctor's time stream. I still think they could have added a little of it to Journey though. This episode certainly shows it's possible. And didn't it look fantastic? Seeing all of the Doctors was pretty special.

My only real criticism of this episode is that the ending was slightly rushed and there was no real explanation of why the Great Intelligence died, but Clara didn't. Again, I'd have to place the blame squarely on the constraints of time. That said, we didn't get into the pacing issues seen in The Bells of Saint John, for example, and I wouldn't say Go, go, go, Geronimo! was a problem here.

Overall a very entertaining episode with a bit of everything. After some of the rather poor episodes this season, it was great to go out with a bang!

9/10

Can we fix it?

No, not really.

If anything it just needs some handwavium above and beyond River's hint that she was still linked to Clara and it would have tidied that ending up a bit more.

To be honest, I wouldn't bother touching it. This one's going in my favourites.

Review - Nightmare in Silver

I had big hopes for Nightmare in Silver. It had Cybermen. It had Warwick Davis. It was written by Neil Gaiman. I had big hopes.

Season 7, Episode 12 - Nightmare in Silver

Sadly those hopes were soundly dashed as I spent most of the episode watching The Doctor cavort around arguing with himself. This is my biggest issue with this episode, so let's start there. What the hell was with the Cyber Planner? From the very start, Cybermen have been all about the removal of weakness. This included emotion and personality. We see this when Webley and the kids are partially upgraded. Why then does the Cyber Planner act the way it does? It was rather jarring.

I liked the idea of the Galactic Empire, although it had a slight whiff of Warhammer 40,000's Imperium, in that they are willing to destroy a whole planet and it's population if a threat is too large. Davis didn't disappoint though. Although he didn't really do much, Porridge was a great character. The punishment platoon was pretty good too, with most of the standard Dirty Dozen tropes present.

It was good to see The Doctor use gold to short circuit the Cyber Planner in a nod to the past, but the Cybermen themselves seem to be going a bit overboard with the upgrades. Apparently they can do it on the fly now. I would have preferred the upgrades to have been long term evolutions rather than instantaneous mutations to solve a problem.

The Cybermites were a good inclusion and a logical step from Cybermats. I liked that they only partially upgraded the creatures they infested, but we should have heard some threat of a future full upgrade. The Cybermen themselves looked awesome. They were the perfect blend of the classic Mondas Cybermen and the Parallel Earth Cybermen.

The episode played out at a good pace. The monster reveal was very early, but we still got some good "Monster Vision" from the Cybermites and another minor reveal for the new-look Cyberman. Things moved along nicely with no real dead time. The Cyber Planner's ruse about The Doctor's feelings for Clara was well played and I would hesitate to classify it Hunka Hunka Burning Doc, because as with the kiss with Jenny in The Crimson Horror,  there was no reciprocity. The Sonic screwdriver was used well, in that it played a part in The Doctor's solution, but was not the entirety of that solution.

Oh! I totally forgot about that stupid line about Clara's tight skirt! I don't think she's ever worn a tight skirt on the show. So unnecessary.

In fact, if it weren't for that damned Cyber Planner I would have scored this one higher.

6/10

Can we fix it?

A couple of little fixes to the way the Cybermen worked would be nice. When they are getting electrocuted in the moat, rather than just instantly upgrading, we see that the dead ones are dead, but Cybermites swarm over the remaining horde performing manual upgrades to get around the issue. This would happen for multiple different traps laid by Clara and the defenders. The traps slow the Cybermen down, but don't stop them. In this way, they become the relentless zombie horde they are supposed to be.

The major changes would be with the Cyber Planner. Most of this is just how it was played by Matt Smith (or possibly the direction). The lines as written by Gaiman were mostly fine, but they needed far less Doctor in the delivery. Dead and monotonous like a proper Cyberman is the way to go. Note, I'm not saying he should have had a heavily altered voice, just that he play it emotionless. This would also make his ruse to Clara more interesting, as we haven't previously seen the Planner use The Doctor's "voice".

Additionally in those scenes where The Doctor is talking to the Cyber Planner in his mind, the Cyber Planner should have been more Cyber. The Planner should also get increasingly Cyber as the episode goes on, including his voice. In this way, we get a visual and audial indication of how close to defeat The Doctor is.

And as one last thing, I'd have liked to see a bit at the start with The Doctor agreeing to take the Kids somewhere. Following on from the weak ending to The Crimson Horror, it just seemed glossed over.

Review - The Crimson Horror

After some true horror in the form of the majority of recent episodes, The Crimson Horror was quite a solid outing, and not just because it had Vastra, Jenny and Strax.

Season 7, Episode 11 - The Crimson Horror

There's not much I can pick on with this episode. The threat was solid and the pacing spot on. I liked that we didn't even see The Doctor until quite a way into the episode. Vastra et al were, as expected, greatly entertaining, and this episode continues to strengthen the case for those guys getting a spinoff.

There was a minor In-Who-Endo when Jenny rips off her dress to reveal her form-fitting combat outfit, only for The Doctor to do a little erection gag with the Sonic Screwdriver. Easily ignored but could also have been just as effective for The Doctor to gape and goggle at her. I'm not sure we really needed The Doctor to kiss Jenny either, but I'm happy her sexuality stayed firm on that one. I could have seen them have her get all flustered from it because The Doctor is an irresistible sex machine. That said, Jenny is a married woman. Why is The Doctor forcing himself on her like that? It wasn't the worst way that could have played out, but I still don't think it was needed.

The connection between Ada and The Doctor was a strange one. I certainly wouldn't feel right classifying it as Hunka Hunka Burning Doc, and I think it played out quite nicely. Ada's development was interesting, and I could see her returning again in later episodes as either hero or villain. That said, I'd have liked The Doctor to have gotten a bit more upset at her killing Mister Sweet.

There were a couple points that could have done with a bit more explanation. What were the cabinets The Doctor used to cure himself and Clara? How did they fix things? We're they there for the revivification after the apocalypse? If the Doctor knew that the cabinet would fix him, he must have realised they were planning on reversing the process at some point.

What about Mister Sweet? Was he actually controlling or actively collaborating with Mrs Gillyflower, or was she just projecting a personality onto a non-sentient parasitic worm? If he was sentient, even partially, The Doctor should have been far less impressed with Ada killing him. If he wasn't the blame is all on Mrs Gillyflower, which I find much more interesting. Where does her interest in eugenics come from? Is it actually religious fervor, or is that just a front?

The epilogue with the kids finding Clara's pictures on the net was a bit out of place. I understand it's because the kids will be appearing in Nightmare In Silver, but it doesn't fit with established events. It's already been established that The Doctor has been erasing himself from all known databases in order to lower his profile. If this is the case, why do these images exist? I suppose it's a risky thing removing all reference to yourself when you skip back and forth through time. Maybe he was only able to get the stuff that mentioned him by name.

Either way, the kids' ultimatum was pretty weak. "Let me use your time machine or else I'll tell dad you're a time traveller." What an open-minded man he must be. Even with the photos, it's not hard to fob them off as playing a prank or some such. Clara was also a bit too accepting of The Doctor being referred to as her boyfriend. I'd have likes at least a cursory denial, regardless of how they may be playing her actual feelings. And when did the kids ever see The Doctor before?

And why was The Doctor trying to take Clara to Victorian London to a point not long after a version of herself had died? Surely there was a significant chance someone would recognise her. Maybe this will be answered next episode or two. He did seem to be a bit shifty when she asked him if there was a reason for going to London.

Overall, it was a solid episode which only really fell down in those parts that touched on the season arc.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Not really much to fix here. First drop the dick joke and The Doctor's kiss with Jenny. These were totally unnecessary. In the place of the kiss we can have The Doctor explain at the end of his flashback recap that the cabinets are designed to reverse the preservation process after Mr's Gillyflower's predicted apocalypse.

During their confrontation, Mrs Gillyflower would refer to Mister Sweet as sentient, but The Doctor would argue that he was a leech, and that any actions were hers alone. The Doctor would also press for more information on the why of it all. Mrs Gillyflower would reveal she saw herself as doing God's work, driving out the corruption that plagued mankind.

The epilogue would be changed slightly. The pictures of Clara could still be used, but without The Doctor, or perhaps with his face obscured or even blurred out as if he'd been erased from the picture. This acknowledges The Doctor's efforts to erase himself, whilst still allowing the kids to "bust" Clara and for Clara to find the picture of the Victorian version of herself. The kids' threat to tell their dad would be laughed off by Clara at the time (although she should look worried), but they should somehow convince her at the start of Nightmare In Silver.

But yeah, mostly I liked this one and I'm looking forward to Gaiman's Nightmare In Silver.

Review - Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

On the surface Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS seems alright, but when you get down to it, it's riddled with little problems that make it almost totally unengaging.

Season 7, Episode 10 - Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

When I first heard the concept of this episode, I was expecting a thinly veiled excuse to reference previous episodes from the past 50 years. To be honest, I was kind of looking forward to that. Like a Where's Wally (or Waldo depending on where you're from) for hardcore Whovians. There was a little bit of that, but it was misplaced and quickly abandoned. It was great to see the Eye of Harmony and other references like the pool and the library, plus there were a few objects for sharp-eyed fans, but so much more could have been made of the time echoes. It was nice to hear the voices from the past, but some footage would have been good too. It may have been difficult, but I don't think impossible.

The story itself wasn't a bad idea. Sadly it stumbled on more than one occasion. The monsters were reasonably creepy, but there was no explanation as to why they would be violent. Without any motivation for their violence, I'm left feeling they were just included because... well... you've gotta have a monster. They didn't really need to be there because there is already a bigger threat, the TARDIS itself. Hey, I'm sensing a pattern.

Overall the structure suffered in the middle. Things got a bit Go, go, go, Geronimo! because there was no distinct investigation or escalation phases. The monster reveal was poorly handled, with them being almost immediately visible and violent, with none of the slow build-up that makes for a good episode.

The pacing also suffered due to the characters' inability to remember how scared they are. Even after the death of Bram, Gregor remained focused on salvage. I know this was supposed to be in his character, but selfishness isn't stupidity. I'd expect a desire to save himself over claiming salvage. We also see Clara one minute running from one of the perusing creatures, the next happy to stop and wonder at the various rooms she passes. She even takes some time to have a read of a book that shouldn't really have caught her attention beyond it being sat on a pedestal. Clara hasn't been introduced to the Time War, and so it makes no sense for her to feel a need to read so pressing that she forgets the creepy burning zombie that she's running away from.

I'm curious as to why The Doctor didn't try more forcefully to stop Gregor from taking the circuit from the TARDIS' architectural reconfiguration system. I'm glad he was non-violent and didn't just do the standard "angry Doctor yelling" bit, but he just acted like a whiney little kid who's had his toy nicked by the schoolyard bully. He completely failed to convey the danger of its removal, so I can totally see why Gregor didn't think it was that big of a deal. The Doctor didn't even raise an objection when he threatened to blow the wall up.

The sub-plot with Tricky not really being an android seemed really tacked on. Maybe they wanted the minor characters to still have an arc that left them better off for their contact with The Doctor, but all it really did was chew up screen time with a bunch of angst that didn't really add anything. And why did the fact that he could sense the TARDIS' pain come up so often? The natural assumption is some kind of machine empathy, but then it's not fully explained after we find out he's human.

The scene on the cliff could have really dripped with Hunka hunka burning Doc, but was actually rather restrained. It could be taken either way, and so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for now and assume it was a platonic mixture of friendship and fear. That said, the scene itself was pure Companion Show featuring The Doctor, rubbing the season arc in our faces.

The ending was rather rushed and wasn't internally consistent. If the magnetic beacon that The Doctor wrote on was from his timeline, how was it able to shut off the tractor beam in the past? Surely there would still be an active beacon there that was causing the issue. Either way, the resolution seemed to me to be engineered entirely to create a situation whereby Clara could discover The Doctor's name and then forget it. An unfortunate case of season arc influencing story.

And did "new timeline Tricky" know who he was, or was he was still under the impression he was an android? It was a bit sad if he was.

'Hey, Robobitch! Make me a sandwich.'

Ultimately this episode had potential, but failed to deliver. Too much time was spent on the minor characters and not enough on exploring more of the TARDIS. The monsters were an unnecessary inclusion and the Deus Ex Machina ending (A reset button? Really?) was almost, but not quite, a slap in the face.

4/10

Can we fix it?

The problems are all over the place with this episode, so it could be tough to come up with a simple fix. I think the first point to deal with is the salvage crew. They need to be a bit better defined. Gregor is greedy, self important and won't listen to anyone else. He is a villain and will not change. Bram is the big dumb one who goes along with whatever Gregor tells him simply because he thinks he's too stupid to have an opinion. Tricky is introduced as an android, but makes no special mention of the TARDIS' feelings. He questions Gregor frequently and is clearly in the right with most decisions, but defers to the Captain as is his place.

We open the same way with reference to the TARDIS not liking Clara, which would be the only reference to the season arc in the episode. The TARDIS crashes the same way (but without the beacon) and The Doctor gets the salvage crew into the TARDIS the same way, but once inside, things go differently.

The major fix would be with the monsters, and the best way of doing this is to change the way all of the time echoes are handled. The echoes themselves should get increasingly real, starting off as barely heard voices and just glimpsed shadows. This allows for some footage from very early serials to be spliced in, even if it's just a ghostly William Hartnell standing there talking, or one of the old companions.

With no monster threatening her, Clara's journey of discovery (and our journey of re-discovery) can be a bit more quaint, finding rooms and objects from The Doctor's past and chasing voices and half seen strangers through the corridors. She may see the History of the Time War, but she doesn't read it. The book exists purely to tease fans who would fantasise about being able to read it. As the episode progresses, the time echoes get closer to the present, and more real. The voices are clearer and the visions more solid, until we start seeing a few seconds into the future. In fact, we could have Clara chase an echo of herself chasing her echo deeper into the TARDIS.

Meanwhile, The Doctor and the salvage crew start their search and decide to split up, but Gregor and Bram go off together, following the scanner's directions to the architectural reconfiguration system. The Doctor and Tricky also experience some time echoes, and at first The Doctor dismisses them as the TARDIS venting some pent up time energy from the crash or some such, but he gets increasingly worried as the echoes get stronger.

At this point The Doctor finds Clara just as she's about to touch one of his echoes. He explains that the echoes are like ripples in a pond; at the edge they're weak but the closer to the disturbance the stronger they get, and that coming into contact with them would cause an energy backlash that would kill you. Whatever caused the disturbance will soon happen, and The Doctor doesn't think he can stop it because technically it's already happened.

By now Gregor and Bram have found the architectural reconfiguration system. When they take the circuit, the TARDIS begins quaking, and it is only now that the TARDIS begins reshaping herself. The Doctor notices what's happening and confirms the problem through an interface panel (rather than just waving his wa... I mean screwdriver). The TARDIS is using too much energy reconfiguring itself and can't contain the power overload.

Gregor and Bram wander around the corridors of the TARDIS until they finally have a run-in with the burning zombie echoes, but now instead of outright attacking, the echoes simply shamble towards them. It is fear of the how the creatures look that makes the brothers run as opposed to them actively trying to attack. During their flight, Bram pushes a zombie away with his pick. The pick freezes and shatters, causing a cold burn up his hand and arm.

The Doctor leads his group towards the heart of the TARDIS, which they need to access through the Eye of Harmony. Now they have a run-in with the burning zombies, and The Doctor gets very worried. They meet up with Gregor and Bram and keep running from the zombies. They get trapped in the Eye, but because the TARDIS removed the doors. At this point The Doctor demands the return of the circuit, with Gregor refusing. The Doctor explains that the Zombies are future echoes of themselves burned to a crisp because of him, and Bram and Tricky demand he comply. Gregor continues to refuse, claiming the Doctor is tricking them out of their pay. Tricky tries to talk him down, but Gregor yells that he's the Captain and to stop questioning his orders, he always thinks he knows better etcetera, and eventually a fight breaks out. Tricky recovers the circuit but Gregor goes over the edge, dragging Bram with him.

Tricky tosses the circuit to The Doctor and goes to help Bram who's hanging from his uninjured arm. The Doctor fiddles with the circuit and Tricky grabs Bram as we see the zombies have reappeared at the far end of the gantry, slowly advancing. Tricky struggles to lift Bram who tells him to let him go and save himself. Tricky refuses, saying he is expendable. Bram reveals Tricky is human and his younger brother. The Doctor activates the circuit *sigh* with the Sonic Screwdriver I suppose, reinstating the doors and creating a platform that lifts Bram back up. We see the zombies fade away as the group leaves the Eye of Harmony.

As the group enters the heart of the TARDIS, it is on the verge of meltdown. The Doctor begins doing some jiggery pokery as Bram explains the situation to Tricky. The story would remain the same, except with an implication that Gregor may have caused the accident that injured Tricky as a means of getting rid of his father's favourite and claiming what he saw as his birthright.

The Doctor manages to vent the built up energy, resulting in a wonderful collage of clips from the past 50 years, and everything is wrapped up nicely, with Tricky taking over as Captain.

With this we get a much longer nostalgic walk down memory lane, and a better buildup of the threat level. We have a clear villain with a better motivation for his lies than "it was good for a laugh," and who is killed for being stupid and greedy. Plus it's a much clearer resolution for poor Tricky. We also avoid getting bogged down in the season arc too much and don't have to resort to a weak "reset button" ending.

Review - The Bells of Saint John

I thought I'd start my reviews and suggested fixes with the opener for the second part of Season 7. So let me say up front that The Bells of Saint John is a prime example of how not to do a Doctor Who episode.

The Bells of Saint John - Season 7, Episode 6

We start with some "previously, on Doctor Who" dialogue and the (admittedly amusing) joke about the titular bells. This sends The Doctor off to meet Clara again to find out how she got his number. After an attack by one of what is undoubtedly Moffet's worst monsters yet, the Spoonheads, The Doctor seems to immediately forget what brought him there in the first place and reverts to default "coax the young girl into the van" mode. This reeked a bit of TheCompanion Show, featuring The Doctor, but in all fairness, we've had to treat each encounter with Clara as a re-introduction, which puts her character at the forefront.

The Spoonheads themselves are a very poor monster because they are no real threat. They are sort of creepy in that "crazy person standing and staring" way, but The Doctor can just scramble them with the Sonic Screwdriver and they're gone. Boring! I felt the invisible threat of all encompassing WiFi to be much more disturbing that stupid robots with no back of their heads.

As a positive, there isn't all that much Deus Ex Screwdriver in this episode. The Doctor uses the Sonic to disassemble a Spoonhead (a process he is shown taking some time to do), but does the majority of his problem solving through bulk-standard "hacking" with a laptop.

The episode suffers badly from Go, go, go, Geronimo! The Doctor is running around in a manic whirl trying to impress Clara more than solve the problem. In fact, the problem seems to solve itself. The resolution seems rushed, and is pretty much the classic "hit the self destruct and run out the secret tunnel" villain move. Totally unimaginative, and a huge let-down.

3/10

Can we fix it?

I think with a few changes this one could be fairly reasonable. The basic concept of WiFi hacking of people was interesting, but it was diluted by the ridiculous Spoonheads and Clara's re-introduction to The Doctor.

First up, I'd remove the Spoonheads. They are stupid, pose no real threat and exist purely as low level goons for The Doctor to defeat easily. The main threat of this episode it the WiFi itself, and there is no need for robotic mobile WiFi towers because as was pointed out several times in the episode, the majority of London would be covered by some WiFi or other. We would see the Uploaders ijacking routers and mobile phones to act as new nodes for their WiFi network, thereby turning our own tech against us, which is far more insidious in my opinion.

The Never-should-have-beens

The concept of hacking people to change their "stats" was also interesting, but I would prefer to have seen it as a parasitic leeching of those stats from other hacked people, using their "processing power" to perform your own tasks. If one of the agents wanted to buff their creativity or intelligence, they would be drawing it from another person. In this way, people aren't necessarily dying in front of their computers, just becoming increasingly stupid (see the metaphor there?). We hear the old "the farmer loves his flock" metaphor, but I prefer "why eat chicken today when you can have eggs forever?" Eventually they would be totally uploaded to the Cloud and consumed, but not at the rate the episode implied (surely people would have noticed that).

I also feel The Great Intelligence shouldn't have been so explicitly revealed as The Client in this episode. I would have preferred it as just being a voice on the phone, and one we can't hear at that. Most viewers would likely guess The Client is The Great Intelligence, but being less obvious creates that "aren't I smart" reward for those that need that kind of thing.

So, as the episode starts we have The Doctor get his phone call from Clara looking for IT help. This scene could play out almost the same until The Doctor gets to Clara's house. At this point, instead of rescuing Clara from a Spoonhead, The Doctor presses the matter of the person who gave her his number, all the while Clara is being integrated.

The Doctor convinces her to take him to the store where she got the number, and during the walk there we get some introductory small talk showing that she is smart and quick witted. Maybe we even have a guy staring at his phone almost run into them before saying something stupid like, "LOL! Soz mate!"

Here we see more of the Uploaders doing their hacking and stat boosting with exposition of how it works. We see Clara is now fully integrated and they hack her to switch her phone's personal hot-spot on, creating another Wi-Fi node.

Clara comes out of the store and tells The Doctor that the woman who gave her his number wasn't there, and the funny thing is the store owner said he didn't have any female employees. The Doctor asks Clara what the woman looked like, but as Clara begins a vague description, she exhibits signs of a drop in intelligence and focus, umming and aahing and getting distracted before The Doctor can get anything useful out of her. At this point The Doctor becomes concerned about what's going on, perhaps looking around and noticing a lot of people on laptops, tablets and phones all zoned out or acting stupid.

The Agents are seen discovering The Doctor on Clara's WiFi and begin integrating him, only to notice it seems to be taking ages. They get Miss Kizlet and explain that the speeds are fine, he's just a huge file. She goes off to talk to The Client, and tells them to keep integrating. When she returns later she orders all available bandwidth put on downloading The Doctor to the Cloud.

The Doctor makes the connection to the intelligence drop and the WiFi, and takes Clara on board the TARDIS to escape it, at which point we see The Doctor is at 99% downloaded. The Uploaders puzzle over how he disappeared from WiFi range in the middle of London and Miss Kizlet goes to convene with The Client again. When she reappears she tells the other Uploaders to look for a Blue Police Box.

Clara recovers in the TARDIS and The Doctor does some exposition and wondering aloud how he can defeat the Uploaders whilst examining Clara's phone. He eventually gets on to viruses, and this gives him an idea. We see him sit down and begin meditating.

Eventually the Uploaders have scoured London and have found the Doctor's TARDIS and surround it just as he exits. At this point his download resumes, clicks over to 100% and The Doctor falls unconscious to the ground. We see Miss Kizlet observing The Doctor in the Cloud monitors, but unlike the other inhabitants of the Cloud, The Doctor says he knows just where he is. At this point the system goes haywire, Uploaders begin resetting and those with bodies to go to begin to return.

Miss Kizlet runs to her office and calls The Client, whom we gather from her end of the conversation is abandoning her. She gives the "I don't know who I'll be without you" line before The Doctor's brain hacking of the Cloud resets everything and UNIT arrives to find the Woman-child Kizlet on the floor of her office.

Post resolution wrap up would be similar, with the addition of Clara having large gaps in her memory, and not remembering the woman who gave her The Doctor's number at all.

Boom! Job's a good 'un.

I'd love to hear what you guys would have done differently.

Review - Cold War

Finally, an episode that didn't make me cringe. Cold War stands as a good example of how to structure a Doctor Who story. I don't even have that many fixes for it.

Cold War - Season 7, Episode 8

The structure of the episode was quite good. In fact it was the perfect example of the classic structure I outlined in my original post on Go, go, go, Geronimo! Despite the very early monster reveal, they still managed to create some tension and a nice additional reveal by having Grand Marshall Skaldak remove his armour. We then get only quick glimpses of the suit-less Skaldak as he runs amok during the "escalation" phase. In the end we still only see his face in full, leaving the possibilities for foot and body shots to still be mysterious in future episodes.

There was some low-level Deus Ex Screwdriver but this was limited through The Doctor dropping the Sonic early on. His eventual ploy using it could easily have been a bluff, so I've not really git too big a beef with it. Interestingly we may have seen the first sign of The Doctor's Screwdriver having Red Settings as seen on River's version in Silence in the Library

Clara took more of a back seat in this episode, which was nice. She played an active part, whilst at the same time remaining secondary. We saw some arc development for her as she realises it's not all fun and games with The Doctor, but it didn't detract from the story of the moment.

There was a refreshing lack of Hunka hunka Burning Doc, although there was a minor In-Who-Endo as The Doctor excitedly tells Professor Grisenko, "I could kiss you," with the Professor replying, "If you insist." I'm probably being over-sensitive on the gay innuendos now, but that, like most of the innuendos I complain about, felt forced and out of place. It didn't help that I was actively thinking during the opening titles, "I wonder how they'll get a gay reference in this week."

Of course in an episode set on a submarine, it could have been much, much worse.

I've heard others complain about some technical problems with the sub not being able to fire or even open tubes at 700m depth and maneuverability issues. There was also the question of why a nuclear sub is being used to survey for oil, which was never really fully explained. Overall I was quite pleased with this episode though, and if they stay on this level, I'll be happy.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Not much to fix here, really. Not being a submarine nerd, the technical issues that have been pointed out to me have no impact. Of course for those who are, this could be an issue, so I think a bit more time on exposition could have helped.

First, some explanation on how the Firebird was a modified or experimental sub designed for deep water launches would have somewhat quietened the military nerds out there. That could also explain the CCTV cameras used by The Doctor when coaching Clara through her encounter with Skaldak.

They also needed a bit more explanation as to why a fully laden and operationally active nuclear sub was hauling a Professor around to drill core samples looking for oil. It doesn't take much, but a quick line about the need for secrecy in these uncertain times could have been enough.

I also think the submariner that defrosted Skaldak needed a tad more motivation, but other than that, this was a solid episode.

Review - The Rings of Akhaten

The alternate title for The Rings of Akhaten should be "What The Hell Was That?" There were a few glimpses of good ideas, but the whole thing somehow felt not fully formed.

The Rings of Akhaten - Season 7, Episode 7

The bookends of this episode push into The Companion Show featuring The Doctor territory, but the opening does set up the resolution rather well, so I can forgive it a bit. Overall the episode suffered from Go, go, go, Geronimo!, perhaps because we lost the entire pre-credits opening to Clara's background, which meant the build up and exposition in the markets were rushed as we barreled towards the epic confrontation that was more monologue than practical solution.

The concept of sentimental items as currency is interesting, and reminded me of the episode of Red Dwarf called Polymorph II - Emohawk, in which the GELFs are said to trade in emotions. Clearly this economy has developed due to the rituals to keep Grandfather asleep requiring lots of these objects, but the concept seemed a bit too ethereal for a science fiction show. The markets themselves were a nice touch, but much like the Mos Eisley Cantina in the original Star Wars, many of the denizens seemed rushed or poorly realised.

We have a nice use of Clara outside of the bookends using her mad child-rearing skills to calm a scared little girl called Merry. Clara doesn't seem to be falling for the Hunka hunka burning Doc, and I can't recall any In-Who-Endos, so that's a positive. The relationship between Doctor and Companion seems to be simply platonic for the time being (despite the kiss with Victorian Clara in The Snowmen).

Unfortunately the creatures that come for Merry, the Vigil, are grossly underutilised. They are quite reminiscent of the Spoonheads from The Bells of Saint John in that they turn up, act a bit creepy and don't really pose a threat. And then they just disappear. Then we have the mummy, which is thrown out there as a red herring appearing just to vaguely menace the characters without actually posing a real threat before simply being tossed aside from the narrative.

Grandfather itself was very poor. It looked like they couldn't be bothered to animate both sides of its face, so just mirrored it. And it was simply awful. CG is good and all, but I get the feeling a guy with some minor prosthetics and a bunch of light filters would have looked way better. Sometimes the old ways are best.

We had some significant Deus Ex Screwdriver in this episode. They seemed to be making a joke about it with The Doctor not wanting to give it up because "it's useful sometimes". That said, we end up in a situation where The Doctor can't open a door because its a special kind of... oh wait actually he can open it. What was with that? Then of course he uses it to hold off the Vigil just as they are looking like they could actually pose a threat. I can't work out whether it was better that it wasn't the Screwdriver that destroyed them or worse because they were never really defeated.

The ending was overly dramatic and slightly nonsensical. What was Grandfather eating from The Doctor? Was it his emotions? His memories? Either way it seemed to have consumed quite a bit of whatever it was, and yet The Doctor remained unchanged. Where was this sacrifice we heard all about? All up the ending felt a bit too "magical" which was slightly jarring.

I reckon a bit more science to that fiction would have been good.

3/10

Can we fix it?

There's a few things we need to do to get a decent story out of this, and most of them relate to exposition. We need to know more about how this sentimentality economy works, and more about the structure of the religion. Both are clearly relating to history, with the Queen of Years having to learn all the stories and songs and an item's provenance being of more worth than it's materials. The connection here is subtle, but it seems to imply that they are trying fatten the Queen up with history to make her a tasty morsel in case her sacrifice is required. I don't think this was made clear enough through all the singing and space bikes.

I would have liked to see something used in the markets to weigh the sentimentality of an item. A savvy space merchant isn't going to take your word on being attached to something and I can't believe that all of the species trading in the market have some kind of psychic ability to determine the value.

Some more interaction with other members of the religion would also have been good. We had a brief moment with the Chorister, but apart from singing, we get nothing. A bit of exposition from him, or someone else explaining the ultimate purpose of the Queen of Years would have helped keep things straight. They could even bee kind about it, telling her she's doing a great thing and other placations.

I'd have dropped either the mummy or Grandfather, as along with the Vigil there are too many monsters here. If the mummy is to be a red herring, it shouldn't come to life. We should be made to feel like it might right up to the point it's revealed the planet is the enemy. There's plenty of reasons a mummy would be interred in the holiest place of a religion.

The singing needed to be cut back too. It was quite out of place, and really only served to be a dramatic soundtrack to The Doctor's monologue at the end. The monologue also needed to go. It was way too much for anything other than a pre-regeneration season finale.

So ideally I'd have the episode run the same up until we get to the markets, where we get more of that explanation of the economy, perhaps with The Doctor showing the link between this form of trade and the big ceremony. Maybe we even have a member of the priesthood appear to tell them about it. Tourists clearly aren't unusual and the priests would be keen to get followers or at least participants. We learn from the priest that the ceremony is to commemorate their God defeating and imprisoning an evil and destructive enemy (Grandfather is a silly name, so something better should be used).

While the priest is putting the hard sell on The Doctor, Clara notices Merry and follows her. This gives a decent reason for The Doctor to disappear. The scenes with Clara, Merry and the Vigil were fine and would stay as is, with the addition of an explanation from Merry that the Vigil were her bodyguards. When Merry returns, it is to the Vigil, not to priests.

When we get to the ceremony, The Doctor reiterates the offering of psychically charged items and wonders where the pure psychic energy is going. We can keep the singing if they really want, if only to allow us to cut between Merry and the Chorister to imply the mummy is the enemy.

In the pyramid other priests are ritually monitoring archaic machines. One of them comments that the energy levels are low, and the offerings may not be enough. The high-priest sadly orders the Vigil to collect Merry in order to make up the difference.

The chase would play out the same except it is the Vigil who take Merry from the ceremony, rather than a beam of light.

While The Doctor and Clara are running off to get the space bike (I'll let them keep that one) the priests are explaining to Merry that her sacrifice is needed to stop the enemy ravaging the seven systems (let's keep it local for a change). The Doctor and Clara burst in (because the Sonic Screwdriver has no problems with the door) and The Doctor demands to know why they need to sacrifice her.

The priest reveals that the pyramid is a giant psychic syphon that powers an energy shield generator designed to keep the enemy imprisoned. Clara taps on the glass case with the mummy saying it looks like regular glass to her. The Doctor looks out of the window at the now raging planet and tells her that's not the enemy.

The priest goes on to say that the mummy is the creature who first imprisoned the enemy, now risen as a god for his sacrifice to power the shield generator. The Doctor refuses to let Merry die, offering himself in her place. Clara points out that the device killed the mummy, but The Doctor explains that it runs on history, and he's got a lot of history.

Clara takes Merry back on the bike as the pyramid begins syphoning The Doctor's energy. The end plays out in a similar way except without the epic monologue. When Clara returns with her leaf, weakly and tearfully trying to save The Doctor, her words about the potential futures missed by her mother spark The Doctor, who manages to rewire the pyramid to work on potentiality rather than history, possibly by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow. This allows them to power prison forever using just Clara's leaf.

Similar wrap up with some resolution on what the priesthood will do moving forward. Clara's epilogue could remain unchanged.

I know a lot of people didn't like this episode, so how'd I go at fixing it?

Review - Hide

Interesting and tense but with a strong season arc connection, Hide is about as bad as an episode if Doctor Who should get.

Season 7, Episode 9 - Hide

The pacing of this episode was solid. We start off slow with a steady escalation. Not much of it seems rushed, and The Doctor does seem to have to work for a solution. Happily the Sonic Screwdriver sees very little use, although when it is used it is as a scanner of some sort, which is a pet peeve. Either way, the Screwdriver didn't play a major role in saving the day, which is good.

I liked the way the episode was shot, with the monster reveal being very subtle. Even at the end we never saw the whole of the Crooked Man, nor learn what it actually is. It was a good horror episode, but is that what we want from Doctor Who? Ordinarily I'm not fond of the move towards more horror episodes, but in this case I'm not that fussed. It worked well because it was more about the tension than the monster.

That said, it wasn't entirely consistent with regards to how the pocket dimension worked. We are seeing supposedly unchanging images of Hila Tukurian in the pocket dimension, why does she appear to move in the opening scene? Why is she not always in the same geographic place? Why, when The Doctor goes to rescue her, is the timeline consistent in both dimensions? It shouldn't have been too hard to flesh that out.

There were some hints at a bit of Hunka hunka burning Doc from Clara, but not a lot. The love content of the episode was high, but most of it was from Emma and Professor Palmer. I was also glad to see The Doctor being more oblivious to others' feelings again. He seemed almost heartless towards Clara's angst about time travel, and his intrusion into a private moment at the end was classic Doctor behaviour.

My major issue here is the footprint of the season arc. We discover The Doctor traveled there specifically to find Emma to ask her about Clara. Pushing us fully into The Companion Show territory, we had more of the TARDIS not liking Clara, which is most likely connected to her tendency to resurrect, much like Captain Jack before her.

This leads me to another minor issue. When Captain Jack clung to the outside of the TARDIS during flight in the episode Utopia, it killed him. Yet here we are with The Doctor surviving the same thing unscathed. Twice. I've had this discussion with other fans who pointed out that the TARDIS may not have had to enter the Time Vortex to get to the pocket dimension, making the trip less dangerous for The Doctor and the Crooked Man. Either way, it could have been handled better.

All up, I was entertained and would likely watch it again, but it's far from a favourite.

6/10

Can we fix it?

My issues are pretty small with this episode, so the fix should be fairly simple. I'm not sure how important all this foreshadowing for Clara and the season arc is, and so I can't really make a call as to what to cut and what to keep, but I do feel we could have shaved some of it out. Keeping The Doctor's chat with Emma at the end would probably be enough, with Clara's issues with the TARDIS fitting reasonably well into the story. I'd have also dropped Clara's first mention of the TARDIS not liking her, as we've heard that before and it becomes quite clear once they have their altercation later.

The issue with The Doctor travelling on the TARDIS could be easily clarified by either having the TARDIS materialise around The Doctor, or simply having him leap through the open doors. If he absolutely had to cling to the outside, perhaps a short explanation as to why he's okay would be nice, even if it's dismissive.

Equally, some more explanation around the timelines when The Doctor is travelling through the portal would be nice. It would be easy enough to slip in a line about how the timeflows in both dimensions synchronise when the psychic connection is made. This would explain both how Hila appeared to be moving in the images at the start, and how The Doctor could exact his rescue mission. Of course it doesn't explain what happened in the minutes when the connection was broken, so it could be a neat trick to have things freeze for The Doctor whilst the connection is broken.

So instead of confusing chronology and Emma being cajoled and guilted into reopening the portal, we get a nice tension builder where the Crooked Man is about to pounce on The Doctor just as the connection breaks. With Emma out of action, Clara has her run-in with the TARDIS and zooms in to the rescue an instant after the connection broke, materialising around The Doctor with the Crooked man comically ploughing into the side of the TARDIS.

The ending could then play out the same way, but perhaps with The Doctor bringing the Crooked Man back through the portal, rather than the TARDIS, so as to avoid needlessly burning up her energy source.

What do you think? Did I miss anything?

The what of the who?

So... this happened last week:

Season 7, Episode 13 - The Name of the Doctor

So it appears the penultimate episode of Season 7 will somehow involve The Doctor's name. The poster teases "His secret revealed," which is frankly a horrifying thought.

For good or ill there have been a lot of changes to Doctor Who over the years, but there is one thing that's remained constant; We don't know his name. When all is said and done the show's title is more than just a recurring joke. It is, as Dorium Maldovar hinted in The Wedding of River Song, the ultimate question. And it's one that doesn't need an answer.

We've got Alex Kingston credited too, so we will see River Song again. Maybe that'll keep Clara off The Doctor for an episode at least. Perhaps we'll see a proper wedding. Perhaps it's time for a trip to Trenzalor.

To my way of thinking, The Doctor hasn't yet wed River Song because he didn't tell her his name. Of course, the real wedding could have happened off camera, but it does remain an option.

Dorium's prophesy from The Wedding of River Song is a more likely candidate:

On the fields of Trenzalor, at the fall of the eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsley or fail to answer, a question will be asked. One that must never be answered. And silence must fall when the question is asked.

So "the fall of the eleventh" indicates the death of The Doctor (or at least the Matt Smith version), and even though he has been rumoured to be bugging out after his contract ends this year, he's still set for the 50th Anniversary show and this year's Christmas Special. Not exactly his fall if he gets two more adventures out of it. And I thought the Tenth Doctor took a long time to die.

I'm hoping they take the route I proposed earlier and show The Doctor handing the Sonic Screwdriver over to River. That would be the last loose end in the River Song timeline, and we can begin removing romance from The Doctor altogether.

Either way, I'm fairly confident what we won't see or hear is the actual name of The Doctor.

If we do, that's it. I'm out.