Review - Kill The Moon

The Doctor reaches a pinnacle of patronising crankiness as Clara faces the truth about just how different he's become in Kill The Moon.

Season 8, Episode 8 - Kill The Moon

The cold open drops us right into the action here, building a hook to suck us straight in. Unfortunately Clara's message to Earth just struck me as a bit forced. We're then flung straight back to the real beginning of the story, where Courtney Woods is insinuating herself on The Doctor, aiming to go on further trips through Time and Space.

Here's where we run into the first thing I found odd about this episode. Despite his new crotchety demeanour, I still don't buy The Doctor telling someone they're not special. Despite his regeneration, this is still the same man who once said "You know that in nine hundred years of time and space I've never met anybody who wasn't important before." Of course The Doctor is now claiming over 2,000 years of life, so perhaps he's gotten a bit more jaded since then. Or maybe it was supposed to be another lesson.

Like "don't listen to men in polka-dot shirts."

The overall concept here was fairly sound, I suppose. The Moon being an egg was an interesting idea, but some of the details seemed a little glossed over. Lots of questions remain unanswered, or at least not suitably answered to keep me suspending my disbelief.

The Germs were suitably scary, but why did they look like spiders and spin webs if they were supposed to be single celled organisms? A bit of a redesign would have helped here, making them appear more simple. Another option could be to refer to them as parasites rather than germs. I'm not sure how (if at all) that would affect the scene where Courtney started floating or using the spray to kill them, but neither of those really made much sense either, so maybe the whole lot could just go. Whatever the solution, I can't buy a "unicellular" organism having such an advanced structure.

Even a basic knowledge of biology says this is not a germ.

Why had the creature growing in the Moon only begun to distort gravity relatively recently? The moon has been there for millions of years, presumably with the creature growing inside the whole time. Why then does the weight gain only start causing issues on Earth some time in the next 30 years? Was it dormant until recently? How exactly does the creature fit inside the moon, but have a greater density than it?

How exactly were the astronauts planning on using the nukes to destroy the Moon? They had no idea it was a living thing inside the moon that was causing the trouble, and they have no drilling equipment to get the nukes sufficiently deep in the crust. Hell, they don't even have a lander, so couldn't evenly space the bombs to get maximum effect without manually hauling them across the lunar landscape.

And the biggest question of all, how the hell did the creature manage to lay an egg? First up, how did something that just came from inside the moon manage to lay another egg the same size as the moon? Is the creature growing within the new moon simply non-sexual, or is this some kind of immaculate conception?

Biologically possible, but probably VERY uncomfortable.

Putting all this aside, the episode had good pacing and handled the morality issue reasonably well despite the flaws in the voting system (only half the world could vote and governments could rig it by cutting all power grids). It was entertaining despite the plot holes, and it had a total lack of my usual gripes, with bonus absence of a blatant Season Arc reference. Still, I think a slightly different angle could close those plot holes and make this episode a beauty. 

7/10

Can we fix it?

As I said, yes we can, and all it takes is a rethink of the egg concept. Rather than an egg, I think a better solution would be a nest.

First up though, we need to clear up the whole spider = germ thing. Rather than rebadge what they have as a parasite to make it biologically more accurate, I'd rather go with a redesign of the monster.  Instead of legs, it has flagellum. We can even give it eight of them so that in dim lighting we get the impression of a spider. Instead of a toothy maw, we have a mass of pili which, again, in poor light appear to be teeth. The webs could be explained away as some kind of excretion like a snail trail which aids mobility. All of this allows us to initially play on that all so prevalent arachnaphobia whilst retaining some semblance of biological realism.

With that sorted, we can tidy up the issues surrounding the gravity and the new moon. I reckon I can fix that all up with a couple of tweaks to the creature and how it breeds.

I see this creature as something inter-dimensional. The moon is part egg, part nest. Within the shell of the moon is the opening to a pocket dimension where the foetus grows. As it matures, it begins emerging from the pocket dimension, causing the seismic activity and a huge leakage of amniotic fluid with it's accompanying bacteria. The huge creature begins to cause gravity to increase quickly as it shifts more of itself into this dimension.

Upon emerging fully from its extra-dimensional egg-sac, the creature's first instinct is to build a new nest from the scattered remains of the old one. First it fabricates a new pocket dimension, then covers it with the pieces of the moon, tying it all together with silk-like strands. Then it flies off to find a mate, destined to return who knows when and somehow deposit it's fertilized egg safely in the pocket dimension through the moon.

Who knows how many times this cycle happened before recorded human history. It could even be tied in to the extinction of the dinosaurs.The creature that emerged then didn't manage to catch all of the pieces of the moon when making it's new nest.

Much of the first part could be explained by The Doctor upon his return from his little amniotic swim. The rest would layout to some explanation as they watch from Earth.

An interesting twist would be to have humanity's interest in space exploration kindled by a desire to protect this extremely rare breeding ground.

Closing those couple of plot holes would elevate this episode from an entertaining episode that makes me cringe at the poor science, to a near perfect story.

Review - The Christmas Invasion

After a little break, I'm back with the retro reviews, so off we run with a brand new Doctor in the first of the annual Christmas Specials, The Christmas Invasion.

Christmas Special 2005 - The Christmas Invasion

We begin presumably not long after the closing scenes of The Parting of the Ways, with The Doctor still in the throes of Regeneration. We also kick things off with one of the most laboured executions of the "Doctor Who?" line ever committed to screen. Seriously, even with The Doctor's new face, it just doesn't seem like something Jackie would say at that point. That pales into insignificance next to the outrageous In-Who-Endo she delivers in the next scene. I know I've let Jackie off on the Hunka hunka burning Doc front before, but this is just silly.

Is there anything else he's got two of?

Mickey gets to show off his newly found hacking skills, lessening his perceived uselessness in the ensemble. He has a good crack at the Deathmas Tree too. Say what you will about him, he's got guts and heart to spare.

U.N.I.T. really shine in this episode. A very slick military operation. I quite enjoyed the casual way they talked about alien life, ensuring some continuity with classic Who episodes from the Third Doctor years and onward. In many ways I'd have liked to see U.N.I.T. get a spinoff over Torchwood.

Like S.H.I.E.L.D. only with a better acronym.

Speaking of Torchwood, they are heavily referenced in this episode, with clear implications that they are a secret organisation with access to alien tech. It was a solidly integrated reference, rather than a random word thrown in. It played a part in the story, even if it was to seemingly throw Harriet Jones under the bus.

Harriet Jones as Prime Minister was a nice touch, but the catch phrase / running joke was grating from the outset. Despite that, they manage to make her believable as a strong, decisive leader. Mostly they do that by having her stick it to the US, which reminded me somewhat of Hugh Grant in Love Actually.

They were really pushing the continuity with this one though. Nine tells us that Harriet Jones PM leads Britain to a Golden Age. Then, what can't be more than nine months later, despite Jackie referencing Britains Golden Age, Jones' supposed "three successive terms" evaporate thanks to The Doctor. I guess he's not all that interested in maintaining history. Of course they could already have been looking ahead to the Season 3 Saxon arc, but I'm not sure I can give them the benefit of the doubt on that one.

The timeline is a bit iffy here anyway. I'm not sure nine months is enough time to plan, build and launch a Martian space probe, much less for it to get there. But this is a science fiction show, after all, so let's just ignore that for the time being.

This episode has a case of Too many monsters, with the crew facing the "Pilot Fish" Santas and the Deathmas Tree which are both quickly discarded when the Sycorax turn up. None of the monsters are particularly threatening and don't have a chance to shine. The Santas are just Auton clones and the tree, whilst the most physically threatening of the three, was gone as soon as it appeared. The Sycorax themselves were a bit lame. If the Earth could be defended by a sword fight, there are plenty of humans who would have done as well as The Doctor. Of course it took him to know he could challenge. 

The whole thing was very Doctor light too. He spent most of the time unconscious and when he was awake he put a lot of effort into making sure we all knew he didn't know who he was. To a degree this is for the benefit of newer fans who aren't familiar with Regeneration, but it's almost as if they hasn't worked that out themselves yet. With such little screen time The Doctor is given no chance to show us who he is now. I'm left feeling that who The Doctor is, is angry.

Angry Doctor.

Get used to this sight.

So, a reasonably entertaining episode, albeit with a few flaws. Not a favourite, but still re-watchable.

7/10

Can we fix it?

I think the first fix here has to be the monsters. The idea of the Santas being like pilot fish was interesting, but ultimately made little sense in the context of the Sycorax being the shark. The Sycorax were drawn to Earth by the Mars probe, not The Doctor's regeneration energy, which created a disconnect between both races. Ideally the Sycorax should be demanding Earth hand over the source of the energy, unaware that it is The Doctor, perhaps thinking it's the TARDIS. They would still take the Martian Probe, allowing the whole blood control thing, but realisation of where the energy is coming from would only come when The Doctor regenerates his lost hand.

This opens up some interesting options for The Doctor to realise that whilst he may save the Earth, he is also endangering it. We could even have Harriet Jones use this as justification for using Torchwood to destroy the Sycorax.

"You brought us to this, Doctor. I was defending us from a threat you brought down on us."

Shooting someone in the back is one thing, but shooting them in the back and then blaming someone else is another thing entirely. Especially when your words have the ring of truth.

Resolving the timeline issues is tougher, but could be fixed by bumping the timeline forward a fraction more. It would be hard to jump an additional 12 months, but that may make things easier to swallow with regards to Harriet Jones. Another option would be to simply not have her as PM yet. Nothing said she needed to begin her reign immediately after World War Three. Of course with all that happens in the resolution of the Saxon Arc, that causes all sorts of other issues. That said, if Jones was still PM at the end of this, the Saxon Arc could play out entirely differently, with Saxon battling Jones for the top job using his knowledge of the future. That could have been fun.

The timeline stuff I could live with, but the changes to the monster situation would make it a much more cohesive episode.

Too many monsters

I've noticed a trend recently which sees episodes sporting multiple different threats. This often leads to the initial monster being at best underutilised, or at worst total weaksauce.

In a very few cases multiple enemies works, such as the two scenarios in Amy's Choice or the mega-alliance in The Pandorica Opens. More often than not you end up with monsters that show up as red herrings or minor goonsthat get far to little screen time before being abandoned for the real Big Bad. In the worst cases, these seem an attempt at shoehorning a monster in just for the sake of having a monster.

To get a proper idea of this problem, it's best to examine the different types of enemies that can show up. Enemies usually operate within what we can think of as a Faction. Within each faction there are differing ranks of enemies, simplisticly put, either Goons or Bosses. Goons are the rank and file of the threat. They are more numerous and easily defeated or avoided. Bosses are tougher to deal with and will actually have a personality.

Enemies can also appear as either Monsters or Agents.

Monsters are the type of enemy that is scary and or dangerous by its very nature. Monsters are bestial or alien and we don't need much explanation as to why they're the bad guys. Monsters are generally revealed slowly, seeing only a small part of them early on with the full reveal coming near the climax of the episode.

Agents are generally humans or other benign races that have a public face, but are secretly working with or towards a bigger threat. Due to their seemingly normal facade, Agents will be visible from the start of the story. Where a Monster is also present, Agents would usually be working with or controlling it.

So within any given faction this gives us four possible combinations:

Agent Goons

These guys are usually the public face of the group behind the threat. They're not innately scary, so we see them early.

 Who could forget Torchwood were originally the bad guys?

Season 2, Episode 12 - Army of Ghosts

Agent Boss

The heavy hitters behind the threat. They're similar to Agent Goons, but with more lines. Agent Bosses would act as the link between Monsters and the Agents' group.

Luke Rattigan ran ATMOS in league with the Sontarens
Season 4, Episodes 4/5 - The Sontaren Stratagem / The Poison Sky

Monster Goon

These are the most instantly recognisable threats in Doctor Who. Daleks, Cybermen, Silurians and Weeping Angels all fit here.

The Reapers were pure monster goons

Season 1, Episode 8 - Father's Day

Monster Boss

These guys are a bigger threat than Monster Goons. There is typically only one of them, and when present it is often the major threat of the episode.

I'm a huge fan of Grand Marshall Skaldak. Like a Monster Bawss!

Season 7, Episode 8 - Cold War

If any one type of enemy is to have appropriate screen time, you can't really go beyond two or three of these types of enemy. Any more than this and there's just not enough time to use them properly.

In my favourite example, The Bells of Saint John, we see five types of enemies:

• Agent Goons: The Uploaders working at The Shard
• Agent Goons: The people being controlled by The Uploaders
• Agent Boss: Miss Kizlet
• Monster Goons: The Spoonheads
• Monster Boss: The Great Intelligence

Wait... Who am I supposed to be scared of again?

The Great Intelligence is only teased, but still there's a lot of focus on Miss Kizlett, leaving the Uploders, the controlled people and the Spoonheads fighting for screen time. None are really explored properly and they end up feeling tacked on.

Contrast this with something like New Earth which has a tight group of three:

• Agent Goons: The Sisters of Plenitude
• Agent Boss: Matron Casp
• Monster Goons: The Infected

A shady group, their mad leader and the monsters they created. Wonderfully simple.

Now don't get me wrong, good writing can make anything work, but I don't see the need to over-complicate things when you're running to a tight 45 minute time limit.