Annoying Catchphrases

The Doctor has had a catch phrase or recurring idiosyncrasy off and on throughout the entire run, such as Two's recorder, Four's constant offer of jelly babies, or Three's scientifically impossible recurring suggestion to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. I suspect this is a way of giving fans something else to differentiate the Doctors. In much the same way as Roger Moore's first outing as James Bond in Live and Let Die saw concerted efforts to distance him from Connery, such as different clothing and swapping the Vodka Martini for a bourbon, each Doctor has his own unique costume, Sonic and sometimes catchphrase. This gives the fans something to discuss when comparing these Doctors, and conveniently opens the door to merchandise licencing for sonic screwdriver toys and official bow-tie / fez combos.

This is a thing that exists.

It seems to me that recent seasons have made a big point of ensuring The Doctor has a catchphrase. "Allons-y" seemed particularly forced from the mouth of Ten. Its introduction in Army of Ghosts was awkward, and the fact that The Doctor made such a big deal about it and how he should say it more often speaks volumes. "Geronimo" for Eleven was slightly more tolerable, perhaps because, for me at least, it was a more familiar term that worked in the context it kept appearing.

Of all the recent Doctors though, Nine had the best "catchphrase" with Fantastic! When I say best here, I mean the most flexible. It is able to be worked into conversation relatively easily especially as most of the stuff The Doctor deals with can be described as fantastic. Allons-y and Geronimo on the other hand are limited by their rather contextually specific natures. Just check out this video:

Season 7 not shown

Nine uses "Fantastic" in a variety of situations and delivers it in a variety of different ways.  Some of them I would hesitate to include as examples of catchphrase use because they fit so naturally. You can also see that relative to the number of episodes they appeared in, Ten and Eleven pulled out their catch phrase far less than Nine did. I'm not sure if they actively eased off this or just found it difficult to work it in. They even gave Eleven a second catch phrase of "[Nouns] are cool." This one was far more annoying than Alons-y and Geronimo combined, requiring a lot of work to jamb into the script. But it sure gave the fandom something to work with.

A catch phrase is all well and good, but it's best if it is used sparingly and can be worked in naturally. As shown above, a general or flexible exclamation is best. Something like "Great Gallifrey!" could work well, as it would fit equally for shock, frustration, awe and numerous other emotions. Rather pessimistically though I expect Twelve to be spouting "Whoopty-doodle" or some other meme-friendly sound bite at semi-regular intervals.

Review - Doomsday

It's double the classic foes as Daleks and Cybermen clash with humanity trapped in the middle in Doomsday.

Season 2, Episode 13 - Doomsday

This episode picks up where Army of Ghosts left off, just as the Daleks escape the Void Ship. Rose and Micky stare them down as Rose postpones their inevitable slaughter by showing she has a strategic use. Meanwhile, the Cybermen begin their conquest of Earth as The Doctor stands by helpless. Of course our old friend Angry Doctor shows up again briefly as he explains why humanity is resisting.

I'm a bit cross!

As the Daleks extract Raj's brainwaves for intel, desiccating him in the process for some reason, the Cybermen move in to investigate. The resulting confrontation is one of the funniest moments in New Who. Two supremely confident murderous races in a stand off refusing to back down. Some of the lines delivered by the Daleks in this verbal fracas are a little off base. A little too blusterous and even witty. This is a bit off-putting until later when we learn from The Doctor that these Daleks are special.

The Cult of Skaro is an interesting concept, and works quite well despite being very un-Dalek. Most large militaries have similar units for, well, I suppose it's R&D. Whilst the Daleks are supremely confident of their might, it makes sense even they would want to work out better ways to EXTERMINATE! It also makes sense that such deviant behaviour be kept secret, regardless (or even because) of the benefits it offers.

After discovering The Doctor is on the scene, the Daleks begin powering up this episode's MacGuffin of choice, the Genesis Ark, as Rose and Mickey try to work out both how to get out of their predicament and why they aren't yet dead. Turns out the Daleks need a time traveller to activate the Ark because it it Timelord tech. Here's the major flaw in the Dalek plot. If Rose and Mickey weren't there, how were they planning on doing this? Fly around the Universe hoping to find a time traveller?

I was sure there was one here last time we visited.

The Doctor is held for questioning as Jackie and Yvonne Hartman are marched off for Upgrading. The Doctor is freed by a squad of dimension-jumping commandos led by some old friends from Rise of the Cybermen / Age of Steel, and gives a bit more plot exposition about the Void and how all this dimension jumping is irreparably damaging both universes. Hartman marches bravely to her doom, claiming she "did her duty for Queen and Country", before the death of the Cyber Commander allows Jackie to slip away.

Just as Rose is about to capitulate and touch the Genesis Ark, The Doctor rolls up, but not before Rose has a chance to drop some proper bad-assery on the Daleks, referencing the Bad Wolf arc and revealing she killed the Emperor Dalek. The Doctor rescues Rose and Mickey, managing to get a little joke about the Sonic in while he's at it.

Doesn't Kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do.It is very good at opening doors.

But Mickey messes up and accidentally starts the Genesis Ark opening. This leads to a significant battle between the Daleks and the remaining Humans and Cybermen as the Daleks attempt to exit the building. Long story short, an entire Time Lord prison ship's worth of Daleks spew forth from the Ark and begin to EXTERMINATE!

After a rather uncomfortable reunion between Jackie and Dave, The Doctor reveals his plan to suck everything back into The Void. This relies on the fact that everything that's been through The Void is covered in "void stuff." This is particularly grating, because The Doctor has already gone to great pains to describe how The Void has nothing in it, not even time. So what is the "Void Stuff" then? Also, why do Cybermen who have been upgraded in this universe also have it?

Quite apart from that, the plan works, and all of the invaders are forcefully ejected from the universe. However Rose almost gets sucked out too, only to be saved last minute by a dimension-jumping Dave, leaving The Doctor alone on this side. This leads to the scene voted the greatest moment in Sci-Fi, Horror and Fantasy. The emotion is turned up to 11 as The Doctor says farewell to Rose via a projected image. Despite being slightly over the top, it's a brilliant close to Rose's time with The Doctor.

This one's not exactly a favourite, but pretty re-watchable.

8/10

Can we fix it?

I'm not sure there's a lot to do here. As I said previously, making Yvonne Hartman a bit more officious would have improved her final redemption. If it was made clearer early on that duty is her main drive, her ability to retain that after upgrading would work a little better. I'd also like to have seen her more deflated when she realised there was no winning against the Cybermen.

I'm not sure if a bit of pleading would have been too much before the final acceptance, but I think a little exchange with the Cybers on doing her duty could fit nicely.

Y: I did my duty for Queen and Country. I always did my duty.
C: And that will not change.

And a slight tweak to her repeated phrase from "I did my duty" to "I will do my duty" reinforces this. It gives us a little bit of doubt on why she retained control. Was it pure willpower, or some kind of programming loophole. The tears would just add to the fuzziness.

The only other thing that needs clearing up is the Cybers created in this Earth. I think a quick line during The Doctor's epilogue in Bad Wolf Bay could tie up that loose plot thread. Something along the lines of "There were a lot of humans who had been upgraded using components from the alternate universe. It was... messy."

A good season ending and a great way to send off a companion.

And introduce a new one.

Season 8 full length trailer

The BBC have dropped the first full length trailer for Season 8. Check it out below:

First off, YAWN! Leading with a Dalek. I know they have to put them in every year for licensing reasons, but come on. That said, I don't think I recognised any of the other monsters or villains that appeared. Glad to see the Paternoster Gang in there, although they are also verging on overused now. But then there was this:

Someone better be riding this thing

I'm guessing that will be a part of the same episode as the Paternoster Gang, with the Dinosaur rising from the depths of the old Silurian Empire. We also get glimpses of a cybernetic guy, a robot knight and some sort of bug-eyed alien, so the creature diversity seems to have stepped up a bit.

The trailer seems very much focussed on the "what type of Doctor is he now" question. I recall when David Tennant first came on the scene, we had the same quandary, but it was well and truly resolved by the end of The Christmas Invasion. I kind of hope all of that is from the first episode of the new season, because it's not a theme I think has much longevity to it.

Either way, fun times ahead.

Review - Army of Ghosts

The season finale stakes are raised as not one, but two old enemies return to plague The Doctor and Rose, starting with the first instalment, Army of Ghosts.

Season 2, Episode 12 - Army of Ghosts

Right from the cold open we see this is the end of Rose. Not only does she lets us know we are about to see how she died, this is rammed home with a rather blatant shot of The Doctor asking how long Rose will be staying and her answering, "For ever." Having Rose narrate this opening gives it a touch of The Companion Show, featuring The Doctor. Of course, the reboot started very much from Rose's perspective, so her departure using that perspective is fairly natural.

The Doctor and Rose arrive back in London in time to witness an appearance of the now commonplace Ghosts. Jackie believes one of the Ghosts to be her long dead father, but The Doctor immediately brings her back to reality, theorising that something is pressing itself into our world. The Ghost's origins are rather quickly spoiled for us viewers with some cutaways of Torchwood doing their thing, complete with a familiar face

Hello, I'm Totally-Not-Martha

Of course, they could still be actual ghosts, even if Torchwood are responsible for it, right? Well, no. We get a pretty clear shot of a Cyberman early on as they attack Totally-Not-Martha. I feel it could have been better if this was left a bit more mysterious, keeping the blurry silhouette behind the plastic. Of course the ear buds could be a bit of a give away, but all the workers are wearing them, and if subtly shot, it would work quite well as a tease for the quicker viewers.

Add to that another of Torchwood's toys, The Sphere. It has a nice chunk of exposition which was delivered reasonably well and is set up as nicely menacing. The science doesn't really work, but that actually works to its advantage.

"As a scientist, nothing scares me more than poor science."

The Doctor manages to use some doohickeys (again, not the sonic) to follow the ghost energy back to Torchwood. Having him take Jackie and pass her off as Rose was quite funny but did highlight the Hot Young Things Only Policy he seems to have. 

Their introduction to Torchwood plays out well and all of the "showing off" manages to introduce some key elements for the resolution of the story in a relatively natural way. The Doctor's reaction to the sphere, now identified as a Void Ship, shows us this is something to fear perhaps more so than the ghosts themselves. And I actually love Yvonne Hartman's reaction to The Doctor here.

Oh, exactly as the legends would have it. The Doctor, lording it over us. Assuming alien authority over the rights of Man.

And that's it, isn't it? It's fine when The Doctor messes about with something just because it's there, even if he doesn't know what he's doing. Nobody else is allowed to though. They are all too stupid.

Rose manages to sneak off to do some investigating on her own, psychic paper in hand. Apparently that stuff seems to work on ID card readers now. That was a bit annoying, but easily explained away, I suppose.

There's a brain in every door. 

And although things don't go exactly as planned for Rose, we get a nice little surprise with the return of Mickey, now with even more badass skills. God I love Mickey. The poor bloke had is so hard for so long. It was good to see him develop far beyond the joke he was at the start.

Anyway, as things start to predictably go wrong, we see the ghosts are in fact an army of Cybermen invading from the alternate universe seen in Rise of the Cybermen / Age of Steel. Mickey assumes the occupant of the Void Ship is some kind of Cyberman Leader, but in the closing moments we find out it is in fact...

Yep. Those guys again.

Overall, this has some good pacing. As I've said before, pacing is usually less of an issue in two-parters though. Apart from going a bit too early on the full Cyberman reveal we are brought through what is essentially a whole bunch of plot exposition and set-up for part two with no real padding or boring bits.

It was fun to see The Doctor put in his place a bit. He's always interesting when he's on the back foot. Yvonne was a bit weak as a pseudo villain though. Seems they tried to make her more of an officious manager than the domineering head of a secret alien-hunting task force. There were glimpses of that character there, but not really enough.

A good beginning of the end for Rose, and definitely worth subsequent viewings.

9/10

Can we fix it?

Only a few tweaks needed here. Simplest change is to lessen the initial Cyberman reveal to keep them secret a bit longer. A bit of classic monster-vision could have worked, or just the close up scream shot. The first time we should see any bit of an actual Cyberman is when they burst through the plastic sheeting in classic Tomb of the Cybermen style. This means watchers who haven't guessed from the earbuds or the sounds of upgrades are still reeling from this reveal as the invasion happens only to have that compounded by the emergence of the Daleks from the Void Ship.

Mostly I'd like to see a bit of a change in Yvonne Hartman. I feel she would have been better played as a bit of a cold-hearted bitch who slaps on the friendly façade as a "management tool". I reckon she may have been written like that but it didn't come through in the performance.

The dual personalities could easily work with little to no change in script. When Yvonne asks for hospitality to send Raj something she sounds friendly, but when she specifies "not alcohol" it's delivered as a bit of a joke. I think changing the delivery of this line to be more mean spirited would change the time of the character entirely. It goes from "get him something to cheer him up, but no booze because that could make him worse LOL!" to "get him something to distract him from the tedium of his task because that's bad for productivity, but not booze because we can't have too much fun."

There are points where Yvonne seems to drop the friendly exterior, such as when Jackie talks about using the gravity clamps to carry shopping, and when The Doctor demands they return the sphere to the void. Sadly she only gets a little condescending or snappish. It would be good to see this happen with the staff too. Maybe being a little more catty when Adeola and Gareth go off for their little liaison.

It would be nice to see that friendly mask slip more and more as the episode progresses. Eventually she is left ineffectually fuming at her loss of control, showing her as one of those bi-polar office tyrants that are your best mate when things are going well but go insane when things don't go their way.

Imagine someone like that in charge of a secret paramilitary alien hunting organisation.

Terrifying.

Review - Fear Her

The Doctor and Rose pop off to the 2012 London Olympics and deal with a couple of  in the lower budget offering, Fear Her.

Season 2, Episode 11 - Fear Her

This episode was apparently written as a lighter episode for kids and as such it didn't get much praise from older viewers. I'm not really sure why, as I quite liked it. Maybe it was the lack of flashy effects or gribbly monsters. For me, neither of those really matter, and their absence forces a reliance on writing.

Consequently the pacing of this episode was spot on, with The Doctor and Rose teasing out clues well and key events happening at a nice rate. From the cold open the scene is immediately set. It's 2012, kids are going missing, and there's a creepy little girl involved. When The Doctor and Rose show up we get nice subtle hints about the temperature and stalling cars which is vital later on. The Doctor points out the evidence of ionic energy being used, and seems to fairly quickly know approximately what is happening, if not why and by whom.

The interplay between The Doctor and Rose is really good in this episode. There's no real hint of sexual tension, and the whole thing plays out as more a master and apprentice type relationship as The Doctor sort of teaches Rose more about his world. I feel like this dynamic gets missed a lot, with The Doctor just pulling the companions along and getting them to do menial tasks with no explanation whilst he shows everyone how clever he is. Here we see Rose picking up on hints and being an active part of the investigation phase of the story. Then Rose has to deal with one of the lowest budget monsters of New Who, The Scribble of Doooooom!

Not at all scary. 

Of course in an unfortunate little bit of Deus Ex Screwdriver, The Doctor is somehow able to "kill" the scribble by waving the Sonic at it. At least he had to take it back to the TARDIS to analyse it. According to some other episodes, he should have been able to determine what it was made of with a little swish and flick.

The scribble leads them (thanks to Rose's insight) to Chloe Webber and her terrified mum Trish. There is strong implication Chloe was abused by her father, and this has clearly had some impact on her. Despite her Trish's assurance she is a "good girl' she has nightmares, and these nightmares are soon to become all too real.

Actually scary.

The Doctor soon finds out that Chloe is possessed by an Isolus, a creature he is familiar enough with to give us a full run-down on and get to the root of the problem. As The Doctor and Rose investigate, there's maybe a bit too much "telling" rather than "showing" particularly during the interrogation of the Isolus, but that's probably a result of the low-budget nature of the episode, as well as the difficulty of "showing" much of the information conveyed here.

Regardless of that, the story plays out well, and action resumes with The Doctor making some kind of doohicky (notice again, it's something the Sonic couldn't do). This gives some time for The Doctor and Rose to discuss the nature of the Isolus as a scared little kid. I liked the little "I was a dad once" reference there too, and Rose's reaction. Ultimately The Doctor's efforts are all for naught as Chloe and the Isolus vanish him, leaving Rose to figure out a solution on her own. Quite a refreshing change.

For all the talk of the Isolus needing and loving Chloe, and the implication these feelings were reciprocated, it seemed pretty quick to dump the kid once it could go home to it's family. This seemed a little off to me. Like some kind of fair-weather friendship. Its departure releases all of Chloe's drawings back to life, including the evil dad picture. And I've got to say, that looming shadow at the top of the stairs was scarier than many of the full-blown monsters of recent years. Perhaps it speaks to that child within that fears such half-seen and yet all-too-real terrors.

Scary as balls!

After everything is wrapped up, we get some nice foreshadowing of Rose's imminent departure. It's a little clumsy, but it plays nicely into the way the next episode opens.

All up, this is a fairly solid outing, even if it does have a slightly saccharine ending with the love-powered space pod and all.

7/10

Can we fix it?

There's not a great deal wrong here but I'd make a couple of tweaks. The departure of the Isolus needs some work and to do that I'd tweak the story in a few places.

Firstly, we would learn from Trish that not only was Chloe's dad abusive, but as a true bully he seemed to enjoy the fear he created. He lost interest in bullying his wife when she began standing up to him, but when Chloe came along, he found he could get more fear out of Trish when he threatened and hurt Chloe. She'd tried to leave. It didn't go well.

We also learn that Chloe isn't such a "good kid", but is in fact moody and resentful. Her behaviour in the episode isn't far removed from the every day, although since the Isolus' arrival, she has become more introverted and detached from reality, as she spends time sharing the Isolus' fantasies. More is made of her nightmares too. These are what drives her to draw her dad. Perhaps the wall around the drawing also shows damage, as though Chloe has been hitting the image. 

Next, when the Isolus leaves it wants to take Chloe with it by transplanting her into a fabricated reality. At this point Chloe feels alone and as though her mother failed her. The Isolus is offering a safe and fun life. After a heartfelt speech from Trish, the Isolus, having recently been separated from its family tells Chloe she should stay.

Whilst The Doctor is running with the Torch, Chloe argues with Trish. She wanted to go with the Isolus. The Isolus can keep bad things away. Keep her safe. At this point Chloe's heightened emotional state allows the drawing of her dad to fully break through. As the shadow appears Chloe goes catatonic with fear. Trish also shrinks away, as Rose is trapped outside, unable to help. Looking at Chloe and with her words fresh in her mind, Trish stands up to the phantom dad, showing Chloe she will always protect her.

I feel this would not only make a bit more sense in that the Isolus and Chloe's relationship isn't simply dissolved at a whim, but it's slightly more empowering to have Chloe's and her mum finally stand up to the dad and send him packing.

Review - Love & Monsters

The Doctor and Rose are virtually absent in the first of the now traditional "Doctor Light" episodes, Love & Monsters.

Season 2, Episode 10 - Love & Monsters

This episode is an odd one. The concept is actually quite sound, giving us some insight into those people The Doctor has touched and how they cope after he's gone. Not everyone is as impacted by him as companions are, but an impact he surely has. How does one go on after finding out there are aliens out there? Apparently one forms a support group.

When Elton Pope has a run in with The Doctor, he begins to realise many events in his life are somehow connected to this strange man and his blue box, including the mysterious death of his mother. Seeking out others with similar stories, he comes to form the hideously named London Investigation 'N' Detective Agency (LINDA) to find some answers. After a while the group focuses more on their friendship than finding The Doctor. It is at this point that the mysterious Victor Kennedy arrives to refocus their efforts.

Stylish and in no way shifty.

As Victor teaches the group new skills and gives them access to useful information to aid in their task, members start to disappear. Victor explains it away and everyone seems fairly quick to accept his stories. In fact, they seem to accept him into their midst far too readily. I'm a bit iffy about that bit. I try to explain it away to myself that these people are maybe not all the sharpest tools in the shed.

Elton is put to work getting close to Jackie Tyler in hopes of finding out more about Rose and The Doctor. Victor  reveals that Rose's Torchwood files were corrupted by a Bad Wolf virus, neatly explaining why they don't recognise her in the next story, and referencing two different season arc stories. In fact, this episode also contains the first reference to Mr Saxon, meaning it actually mentions three season arcs.

He's reading a story about a Crack in the Universe at Lake Silencio on Trenzalore

In the end, it is Elton's blunderous attempts at getting close to Jackie that save his life, with The Doctor and Rose showing up in the nick of time in order for Rose to give him a telling off. Victor, now revealed to be an... *sigh* ... Abzorbaloff, having absorbed the rest of LINDA, is attacking Elton when they arrive, and sets about trying to absorb The Doctor. The absorbed members of LINDA rebel against the Abzorbaloff, holding it's body back and giving away the secret of its defeat.

As the creature melts away, The Doctor sets up the ruination of the whole episode by saving the face of Elton's girlfriend Ursula on a paving stone. This in itself is not a huge issue, but someone decided it was a good idea to make a blow-job joke at this point. Totally unnecessary In-Who-Endo, especially considering the whole episode has its roots in competition on a kids TV show. If there's some sick-minded individual out there who wants to imagine what Elton and Ursula do for sexy-times, let them work it out for themselves. Nothing needed to be said about it. Without that line, this episode would have been interesting if slightly unremarkable. The fact that it is one of the last things we are left with drags this down so much it's not even funny.

5/10

Can we fix it?

A lot has been said about the fact that the monster for this episode was designed by a kid. In my opinion, the concept of the Abzorbaloff (if not it's name) is quite a sound one. It's actually quite scary to think of being absorbed into another creature and to maintain sentience for some time stuck on it's skin. No, I'm all for the monster here, although perhaps with a name change. 

Many people complain about the lack of Doctor and Rose, but again, this concept is sound. As I said, it's interesting to think about the people whose lives The Doctor touches as he whirls on through. We got a taste of it in the Season 1 opener Rose and seeing more of it is never a bad thing.

I think what irks me about this episode as a whole is the general unquestioning nature of the members of LINDA and the fact that Victor also begins absorbing them far too early. It's not really clear how frequently he needs to "feed", but I'd have thought he'd keep the LINDA members around as long as they were useful.

With this in mind, I'd have a little more dissent amongst the investigators before they started disappearing. Perhaps have one or two unrelated people go missing before that. A janitor, for example. The group could flag the disappearances with Victor, who offers to investigate them himself while the others stay on The Doctor. One of the group does some digging on the disappearances and takes this info to Victor who asks if they've shared it with the rest of the group. When they say they haven't, they then become the first of LINDA to be absorbed. Things start getting harder for the group and private complaints are met with more disappearances. This would then culminate in the mass walkout.

If we also remove that horrendous bit of sexual innuendo at the end, then I think all the loose ends would be tied up.

Review - The Satan Pit

We continue on with classic Sci-Fi survival horror as The Doctor opens The Satan Pit.

Season 2, Episode 9 - The Satan Pit

This episode picks up where The Impossible Planet leaves off, with The Doctor and Ida at the mouth of the pit and the rest of he company fleeing the newly possessed Ood. I think the crew's acceptance of Toby was a bit too quick though. It's a tough one, but I'd like to think I'd be wary of the guy. As it is we focus just on the physical threat of the Ood. The red-eyed menace starts off almost as another zombie horde, only with more tea-bagging.

I'll let you join the dots on that one.

As a threat, the Ood soon move past the "advance slowly and be creepy" phase and become a bit more of a fast swarm kind of threat. Once the group escapes into the tunnels, the parallels to Aliens really gel. Wave after wave of monsters scrambling unflinchingly forward through tight ducting into machine gun fire. I don't think I'm drawing a long bow there. I'm pretty sure the production team said they got inspiration for the base from the Nostromo too.

They're all around us, man!

The pit itself is just a flat black nothingness. There's something really awesome about this scene, The Doctor hanging there in the nothing, pontificating. I even liked the whole awkward message for Rose thing. It worked well.

"If you talk to Rose, just tell her... Just tell her... Oh she knows." 

Once The Doctor takes that leap of faith and lands in the lair of The Beast, we get some more exposition and a full look at our erstwhile enemy. After working out that The Beast is just an animalistic body lacking a mind, The Doctor chooses to destroy everyone rather than let it get free. Of course we get some rather convenient Deus Ex Machina as The Doctor stumbles across the TARDIS in time to escape and save the others from the now collapsing gravity well. We have to give The Doctor credit for making the hard choice here. He didn't know he had to live for the next episode.

Happy birthday to me... Wait, I'm only two?

The Doctor's lament at not being able to save The Ood seems a bit weak though. I know he can't cross his own time stream (unless he can) but surely he could have done something once he had the TARDIS. It somehow feels like a distinction was still made between the humans and the Ood, despite all of the equality subtext of this and the previous episode. I mean he managed to pick up Ida on the way. Why was she more important?

All up, the survival horror theme worked well, and this story is quite rewatchable for me.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Again, not really much to do here. It was a nice suspenseful episode that played out well. As I said, it was a bit talky, and the whole Doctor loves Rose thing could have not been there, but it wasn't as sappy or drawn out as it could have been.

The only minor tweaks I'd have made would be first to have the Ood all die when The Beast was destroyed. This would mean The Doctor wouldn't have had to drop a weak line about not being able to save them.

It would also have been good to bring in a bit of paranoia at the start when the team escaped into the ducts. This could either have been directed solely at Toby, or more broadly at the whole team. If The Beast had possessed Toby and the Ood, maybe he could take any one of them at any time. That would have made the escape through the tunnels just a bit more tense as they all worried about each other.

Not too much to add though because it's a solid episode.

Oh, and I just had to share this one. I did a double take at this point...

Vashta Nerada anyone?

Review - The Impossible Planet

We get set for a nice little trip to Hell in another top two-parter as The Doctor and Rose visit Krop Tor, The Impossible Planet.

Season 2, Episode 8 - The Impossible Planet

The cold open of this episode was quite delightfully handled, with the Ood set up as a monster in the cliffhanger before the opening titles, only to reveal it as a fake-out. The introductions after The Doctor and Rose's arrival were well handled, with the research crew filling all basic tropes nicely, and the basic exposition felt reasonably natural. In particular the Ood and their plot-integral empathic field. I suppose this is a benefit of the two-parter, in that you can take a little longer setting things up, thereby avoiding the whole Go, Go, Go, Geronimo! thing.

It's always fun when The Doctor loses the TARDIS, as he inevitably needs to do things a little differently. The unique situation had he and Rose assuming it was all over, which we, as the audience, know is not true (regardless of how contrived the scenario in which it eventually returns). But instead of lamenting her lost life on earth, Rose seems more interested in locking in a new one with The Doctor.

I think this episode is where we really start to see the solidification of the relationship between Rose and The Doctor. It wavered a lot until this point, most likely because Mickey was technically still around. Now that he's supposedly stuck in a parallel dimension, that frees Rose up to love The Doctor without guilt. You know, if she'd had any guilt to start with.

This story is essentially classic survival horror along the lines of Alien and The Thing. An isolated team being slowly picked off by an insidious threat from within. It could be part of why I quite liked this episode. Our resident archaeologist Toby doesn't take long to get himself possessed, and start wreaking havoc through the facility. You can tell he's possessed because he's got red eyes and crazy tattoos.

Damn it! I said one small butterfly on the neck!

We see possessed Toby fairly early, and he fits my profile of an Agent Boss, even though he's not consciously aware of his involvement with the Monster Boss. The real Big Bad is revealed in a neat series of flickering images on background monitors. As brief and subtle as the flashes are, it's pretty clear what we're dealing with.

Santa!

No... Wait... The other guy.

In a way, the possession of the Ood throws in what could almost be seen as an unnecessary extra monster type. Of course, the possessed Ood have a significant role in part two once the party is split, so we couldn't really drop them, could we?

Overall, this was a well paced opening to a good story. It used a tried and true horror structure and pulled it off nicely. This one's definitely up there.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Interestingly, I think this story could have worked reasonably well without the possessed Ood. The Beast would end up possessing different people. This would have provided some good tension, as the characters didn't know when they may turn on each other. Of course that could have been difficult to handle without it being an obvious "I win button" for The Beast.

That said, because of how the Ood fit into part 2, this would require more rewriting, and would probably just be change for change's sake.

Review - The Idiot's Lantern

We touch on themes of domestic violence and women's liberation in post-war Britain in The Idiot's Lantern.

Season 2, Episode 7 - The Idiot's Lantern

As I said above, this story touches some interesting topics beyond the main storyline of a parasitic energy being from outer space. Mr Connolly is clearly a nasty piece of work, mentally and physically abusive of his family, not to mention the kind of bloke who spies on and rats out his neighbours.

In many ways it feels as if Mark Gatiss is speaking to his own father with many of the lines here. It certainly seems to have it's basis in reality. Or maybe I'm just relating to it on some deep level. Either way, these kind of smaller, human problems intermingling with the larger intergalactic menaces make for far more engaging stories in my opinion. They show The Doctor doesn't just fix the big problems, but helps fix people too.

He does this by getting angry

This particular intergalactic menace is The Wire, a very hungry creature who is giving people cheap TV in order to suck their faces off and create a new body during the Queen's coronation. The Doctor first realises something is wrong when he notices all the TV antennae around. I'm not sure if the shape of the aerials was symbolic, but if it was I can't think what they could be getting at.

Something about license fees, maybe.

The Wire is a nicely creepy Big Boss, and its evil plot is solid, but the goons are yet another zombie style monster. The one thing that saves it is the fact that whilst the faceless people are slowly revealed in the same manner as a monster, they are in fact the harmless victims of the real monster. It's actually quite a nice red herring for The Doctor to follow, and plays out well.

Good thing these suit trousers are brown.

Interestingly, the basic premise of a disembodied entity stealing people's essences was recycled in the much poorer episode The Bells of Saint John. Having re-watched this episode, it further highlights the deficiencies in that story, which suffered major pacing issues as well as from having a stupid monster.

None of my usual gripes appeared in this episode, apart from a hint of Deus Ex Screwdriver when The Doctor uses it to scan for brainwaves. It's a bit sad that I'm desensitised to the Sonic being used like this now. Ah well.

So yeah, this is a solid episode that offers a multifaceted story. The Torchwood reference was subtle, and the whole thing moved along nicely to a happy ending for most of those involved.

8/10

Can we fix it?

No, not really. It's not going to be a fan favourite, but this is a solid plot with no major weaknesses. I'd probably leave it as is.

Review - Age of Steel

Continuing on from Rise of the Cybermen, we wrap up the return of this classic enemy with Age of Steel.

Season 2, Episode 6 - Age of Steel

We rejoin the chaos of the Cybermen uprising as the shiny suited monsters assault the Tyler mansion and humanity is rounded up for the final upgrade. With an army of Cybermen on the loose it is only a matter of time before that giant tree of foreshadowing from last episode bears fruit in the form of a brand new Ricky-shaped hole in the alternate dimension. And who was recently established to have nothing left for him in the regular dimension? A pity really, as I thought Mickey added to the group dynamic really well in the past two outings. He deported himself really well in The Girl in the Fireplace, and I think he could have been very interesting if he stayed for a bit longer.

DELETED!!!

The great factories of Cybus industries begin churning out masses of Cybermen, as the mind-controlled citizens of Earth march themselves to the upgrade chambers. Of course Lumic gets shafted by his henchman and is forced to upgrade into the Cyber Controller. I'm a bit mystified as to why the Cyber Controller sits in a cyber wheelchair. Surely with his weak flesh gone, he can ambulate for himself? Maybe it's just a status thing, like the little brain window.

And with a brain like that, why wouldn't you show it off?

Our intrepid group of freedom fighters plan their assault on the Cybus factory. In the belly of the beast they start to see the full horror of what's going on. We get some nice tension as the Cybermen in the tunnels begin waking up, as well as some emotional kicks to the guts when we have a run in with a converted bride and a newly made over Jackie Tyler.

Pictured: Jackie Tyler (probably)

Mickey ends up being crucial, which I was quite happy about. That guy got the rough end of the stick for a long time. He deserved to have a moment in the sun. Why is it that messing with any kind of robotic humanoid's programming makes their heads explode? A question for the ages, I suppose.

Overall this was a solid conclusion to an entertaining story.

8/10

Can we fix it?

As I've said before, the only real gripe I have with this story is the dual-origins of the Cybermen. With the changes I outlined for part one of this story, we can build a clearer picture on how these Cybers connect with the Mondas ones.

My proposed conversation between Rose and Pete towards the end of part one would have shown us the potential for the Cybus tech to take over the conscious mind. It is because of this potential for the computer to take control that Lumic has always been reluctant to use the technology himself, something we would see during his eventual transformation into the Cyber Controller.

Lumic - I can't be sure I will retain control. 

Cyberman - You will control all.

Once Lumic becomes the Cyber Controller, we can get some hints that he is now channelling some kind of overarching cyber network. His rhetoric swiftly changes from strengthening humanity to galactic conquest, maybe even with some hints at traversing dimensions.

The rest of the story could play out the same way, but these couple of changes just tidy up the dual origins situation a bit.

Review - Rise of the Cybermen

Another classic Who Monster storms back, albeit with a rather clumsy retcon in Rise of the Cybermen.

Season 2, Episode 5 - Rise of the Cybermen

From the outset we know what the monster of this episode is because, much like Season 1's Dalek, it's in the title of the episode. That said, they do a great job of hiding the Cybers until right near the end of the episode. This is a major benefit of the two-parter. You get that awesome cliffhanger reveal.

Look out! A vaguely man-shaped blob!

We pick up the TARDIS Crew as they get smashed between realities and land in an alternate version of Earth. Of course Rose soon discovers her Dad is alive in this dimension, leading her to immediately run off to find him. Micky takes the opportunity to do the same thing whilst almost petulantly pointing out that The Doctor will always go after Rose. This gives us a chance to get some rather clumsily inserted back-story for Micky which unfortunately telegraphs his eventual fate pretty clearly. Let's be honest, "he doesn't have any family left" is a rather foreboding phrase to hear uttered, on par with "I'm two weeks from retirement," or, "I think I'll wear my red shirt for the trip to the mysterious planet's surface."

Mickey gets a chance to shine in this episode though, even if it is as an alternate version of himself. Ricky is a total bad-ass, a fact that somehow redeems Mickey's portrayal as a bit of a goofy, spineless doormat. He is ripped though, a fact we are made plainly aware of. The split screen with Mickey and Ricky are well done with only a couple of poorly synced lines when they're both on screen together.

Lumic is a nice Big Bad, although he positively reeks of Davros. A crippled genius determined to expunge weakness from his race. I think it's a real shame this reboot or retcon or whatever you want to call it makes the Cybermen a bit too much like the Daleks. I find the idea of a race voluntarily moving towards a new form to be far more compelling than that of one forced or tricked into change by one man. 

He does have better teeth than Davros though.

That said, the way Lumic's plot unfolds through this episode is nice. The small-scale start which ramps up to the roll out of industrial conversion works well. I would have liked to see Cybus cybernetic technology being used in more ways than the Ear Buds. Some cybernetic arms, legs and even eyes would have been not only shown people's willingness to upgrade their weak flesh, but reinforced the differentness of the alternate dimension. You know, beyond all the airships.

Airships are huge in alternate dimensions. Airships and goatees.

Rose's conversation with alternate-Jackie was well done and gave both actors some time to show their chops. I can't help but feel Jackie's outburst at the end was there less to remind us that Rose is not her daughter and more to make her less sympathetic in the lead up to her assimilation.

All up, this is a solid episode with few of the regular issues that really bug me. Rose and The Doctor still have an odd relationship. Is it romantic or paternal? It's not really a focus of the episode though, with the threat of Cybus clear from the off. Definitely up there amongst my favourites.

8/10

Can we fix it?

There's not too much that needs doing the the overall plot here, but I feel the setup and the linking of the classic Mondas Cybermen and the new Cybus ones needs a tweak.

First off, I'd change Lumic a tad. Make him less of a genius himself and more a rich industrialist using his wealth and influence to overcome his own body's weakness. At the same time we see him reluctant (possibly even scared) to actually use these developments himself. This could be shown to raise questions from some people. Why get about in a wheelchair when your company makes cybernetic legs? Why the respirator when you could have robo-lungs? This would raise a little flag early on that there is something dangerous about the upgrades.

Second, a slight tweak to the Cybus technology. With a pinch of Terminator 2 and a dash of Dollhouse, we can flesh out the background of the rise of Cybus Industries and at the same time reinforce those parallels with our own desires to constantly upgrade.

Early on, the TARDIS crew only realise the ear buds were unusual because everyone stops dead in the street to receive an update. Seriously, that's dangerous, and therefore stupid, so let's get rid of it. Instead Rose bumps into a man in the street who turns around to reveal a very Cyberman looking visor. Rose screams, to which the man replies, "I know, right? Brand new model. Camped out all week, but I was first in line to upgrade."

As he wanders off Rose comments that they look like uncomfortable sunglasses. The Doctor tells her they're not sunglasses. After this they start noticing more cyber technology. Clinics offering cyber upgrades. Workmen with cyber limbs with built-in tools. Maybe even an advert for the upcoming Cyber Games (sponsored by Cybus).

Later when Rose and Pete are talking, we would learn that one of Cybus' early breakthroughs was a neural link that allowed the human brain to interface directly with computers. This technology is at the heart of every Cybus product, and lets the brain control the computer as well as provide additional processing power. This partnership of brain and computer worries Rose and she asks what stops the computer being used to control the brain. Pete simply asks who would want to do that.

This conversation would reinforce earlier scattered hints that this original technology was derived from something alien. Very Terminator 2, I know, but having Lumic discover parts of a ruined Mondas Cyberman avoids the odd dual origin. Weather the original specimen is from an alternate Mondas that didn't thrive, or had washed up as dimensional flotsam in a similar manner to how the TARDIS ended up there, it doesn't matter.

We end this episode on the same note, but with a clearer connection between the original Cybermen and this new breed.

Review - The Girl in the Fireplace

The Doctor learns how to "dance" with the first in a long line of female historical figures in The Girl in the Fireplace.

Season 2, Episode 4 - The Girl in the Fireplace

Yo Dawg! I heard you like time travel, so I put some more time travel into your time travel show. This episode makes extra special use of time travel. The idea of one participant in the story taking the long road whilst the other skips ahead is very interesting. Of course the episode is apparently loosely based on The Time Traveller's Wife, so we cant award too many points for that. We do get more touches of the culture shock theme, with Reinette having that same "left behind" experience. She handles it much better than Rose or Sarah Jane though.

We skip between a space ship in the far future that's been repaired using bits of its crew, and pre-revolutionary France. I liked the way the characters were split between the timelines. It gave Rose and Mickey a chance to prove themselves without The Doctor. This opportunity could have been exploited a lot more than it was though, as the episode was squarely focussed on The Doctor, almost the complete opposite of The Companion Show featuring The Doctor. Strangely this is almost as bad as focusing on the Companion more than The Doctor. There really does need to be a good balance.

You stay here. I've got to sort someone out.

THING!

Sort something out.

Our main monster is the Clockwork Robots, who again fit the mould of advance slowly and be creepy. They work in this story though, despite no explanation of why they are made of clockwork. I mean a teleport, no matter how short-range, must require a power source beyond mere clockwork.

As if the French aristocracy wasn't creepy enough.

The whole episode is pure Hunka hunka burning Doc though. Reinette jumps The Doctor's bones with little more than two brief meetings when she was a little girl and a five minute conversation under her belt. Moffat keeps the dance metaphor going strongly in this story, dropping a very strong implication that The Doctor and Reinette had sex.

The relationship is solidly written though, and for whatever reason I can accept this sexualisation of The Doctor more than any other instance in the show. Perhaps this is a testament to Moffat's writing. I can believe that this girl successfully got through the layers and seduced The Doctor through a combination of her natural charm and his innate need to protect. 

Not to mention being face-meltingly hot.

The pacing of this episode is spot on. The short-range teleports combined with the nature of the time windows and the Clockwork Men's mission means they can be easily fended off with little fear of them returning until much later. This gives us little bursts of action amongst the talking and flirting. It was nice to see Rose get her comeuppance though. At least she had Mickey as a fall-back.

The climax of the episode was great, with The Doctor not only risking all and stranding himself in the past (albeit with a smoking hot lover) but doing so by riding in on a white charger. Not the only fairy tale parallel in this episode, but definitely the coolest.

Of course there couldn't be a happily ever after in this situation. What we did get was perfect though.

I've just got something in my eye... Again.

Despite the whole episode being pretty much all about The Doctor falling in love and someone falling in love with him, I enjoyed it. Removing this episode from the context of ongoing instances of Hunka hunka burning Doc, it works as that one time a girl managed to turn his head. It is significantly diminished by all the other times it happens (or is implied to happen) though.

Still, a very watchable episode, with much more of an historical feel about it despite its quite solid sci-fi core.

8/10

Can we fix it?

I'm sure many would be expecting me to demand less Doctor love here, but in all honesty in the context of this episode, I'm fine with it. All of the bits with The Doctor and Reinette are great. But when you look past that the rest seems a tad light on. 

I feel if we had a bit more meat on the bones of the Rose and Mickey side of this story, we could have found out more about how the ship and its attendant robots got into the state they did.

The way I see it, the ship originally only had a small group of maintenance droids. These robots cannibalised themselves for parts first, replacing higher tech systems used in repairs to the ship with hastily manufactured clockwork facsimiles. Having used up their own parts, they turned on the crew, replacing their bits with clockwork too. A nice Tin Man parallel to go with some of the other fairy tale stuff in this episode. The clockwork is clearly a unique design, with The Doctor fawning all over it. That could be the reason why. 

This information could be revealed to Mickey and Rose through Mickey using his awesome computer hacking skills to unearth fragments of video logs from the Captain. This makes the Rose and Mickey section a bit more than wandering the halls waiting for The Doctor to get back so that they can tell him things they've seen and let him figure it out.

These recordings could also hint that the reason the crew couldn't fight the Clockwork Men off or order them to not use them as spares was because they only respond directly to the mission computer. This would be there as an early clue for the audience who realise they only respond to Reinette. When The Doctor finds out he of course puts two and two together without having to interrogate the Clockworks to get it.

We could even go so far as to hint that the original problem with the ship was limited just to the mission computer, and that the repairs made by the droids were purely to create the time windows. They cannibalised the ship to create the time windows, and cannibalised the crew to keep the ship running.

We can still leave the name of the ship as a mystery, but I think this fleshes the ship side of the story out a bit and gives Rose and Mickey something more to do.