Review - The Satan Pit

We continue on with classic Sci-Fi survival horror as The Doctor opens The Satan Pit.

Season 2, Episode 9 - The Satan Pit

This episode picks up where The Impossible Planet leaves off, with The Doctor and Ida at the mouth of the pit and the rest of he company fleeing the newly possessed Ood. I think the crew's acceptance of Toby was a bit too quick though. It's a tough one, but I'd like to think I'd be wary of the guy. As it is we focus just on the physical threat of the Ood. The red-eyed menace starts off almost as another zombie horde, only with more tea-bagging.

I'll let you join the dots on that one.

As a threat, the Ood soon move past the "advance slowly and be creepy" phase and become a bit more of a fast swarm kind of threat. Once the group escapes into the tunnels, the parallels to Aliens really gel. Wave after wave of monsters scrambling unflinchingly forward through tight ducting into machine gun fire. I don't think I'm drawing a long bow there. I'm pretty sure the production team said they got inspiration for the base from the Nostromo too.

They're all around us, man!

The pit itself is just a flat black nothingness. There's something really awesome about this scene, The Doctor hanging there in the nothing, pontificating. I even liked the whole awkward message for Rose thing. It worked well.

"If you talk to Rose, just tell her... Just tell her... Oh she knows." 

Once The Doctor takes that leap of faith and lands in the lair of The Beast, we get some more exposition and a full look at our erstwhile enemy. After working out that The Beast is just an animalistic body lacking a mind, The Doctor chooses to destroy everyone rather than let it get free. Of course we get some rather convenient Deus Ex Machina as The Doctor stumbles across the TARDIS in time to escape and save the others from the now collapsing gravity well. We have to give The Doctor credit for making the hard choice here. He didn't know he had to live for the next episode.

Happy birthday to me... Wait, I'm only two?

The Doctor's lament at not being able to save The Ood seems a bit weak though. I know he can't cross his own time stream (unless he can) but surely he could have done something once he had the TARDIS. It somehow feels like a distinction was still made between the humans and the Ood, despite all of the equality subtext of this and the previous episode. I mean he managed to pick up Ida on the way. Why was she more important?

All up, the survival horror theme worked well, and this story is quite rewatchable for me.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Again, not really much to do here. It was a nice suspenseful episode that played out well. As I said, it was a bit talky, and the whole Doctor loves Rose thing could have not been there, but it wasn't as sappy or drawn out as it could have been.

The only minor tweaks I'd have made would be first to have the Ood all die when The Beast was destroyed. This would mean The Doctor wouldn't have had to drop a weak line about not being able to save them.

It would also have been good to bring in a bit of paranoia at the start when the team escaped into the ducts. This could either have been directed solely at Toby, or more broadly at the whole team. If The Beast had possessed Toby and the Ood, maybe he could take any one of them at any time. That would have made the escape through the tunnels just a bit more tense as they all worried about each other.

Not too much to add though because it's a solid episode.

Oh, and I just had to share this one. I did a double take at this point...

Vashta Nerada anyone?

Review - The Impossible Planet

We get set for a nice little trip to Hell in another top two-parter as The Doctor and Rose visit Krop Tor, The Impossible Planet.

Season 2, Episode 8 - The Impossible Planet

The cold open of this episode was quite delightfully handled, with the Ood set up as a monster in the cliffhanger before the opening titles, only to reveal it as a fake-out. The introductions after The Doctor and Rose's arrival were well handled, with the research crew filling all basic tropes nicely, and the basic exposition felt reasonably natural. In particular the Ood and their plot-integral empathic field. I suppose this is a benefit of the two-parter, in that you can take a little longer setting things up, thereby avoiding the whole Go, Go, Go, Geronimo! thing.

It's always fun when The Doctor loses the TARDIS, as he inevitably needs to do things a little differently. The unique situation had he and Rose assuming it was all over, which we, as the audience, know is not true (regardless of how contrived the scenario in which it eventually returns). But instead of lamenting her lost life on earth, Rose seems more interested in locking in a new one with The Doctor.

I think this episode is where we really start to see the solidification of the relationship between Rose and The Doctor. It wavered a lot until this point, most likely because Mickey was technically still around. Now that he's supposedly stuck in a parallel dimension, that frees Rose up to love The Doctor without guilt. You know, if she'd had any guilt to start with.

This story is essentially classic survival horror along the lines of Alien and The Thing. An isolated team being slowly picked off by an insidious threat from within. It could be part of why I quite liked this episode. Our resident archaeologist Toby doesn't take long to get himself possessed, and start wreaking havoc through the facility. You can tell he's possessed because he's got red eyes and crazy tattoos.

Damn it! I said one small butterfly on the neck!

We see possessed Toby fairly early, and he fits my profile of an Agent Boss, even though he's not consciously aware of his involvement with the Monster Boss. The real Big Bad is revealed in a neat series of flickering images on background monitors. As brief and subtle as the flashes are, it's pretty clear what we're dealing with.

Santa!

No... Wait... The other guy.

In a way, the possession of the Ood throws in what could almost be seen as an unnecessary extra monster type. Of course, the possessed Ood have a significant role in part two once the party is split, so we couldn't really drop them, could we?

Overall, this was a well paced opening to a good story. It used a tried and true horror structure and pulled it off nicely. This one's definitely up there.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Interestingly, I think this story could have worked reasonably well without the possessed Ood. The Beast would end up possessing different people. This would have provided some good tension, as the characters didn't know when they may turn on each other. Of course that could have been difficult to handle without it being an obvious "I win button" for The Beast.

That said, because of how the Ood fit into part 2, this would require more rewriting, and would probably just be change for change's sake.

Review - The Idiot's Lantern

We touch on themes of domestic violence and women's liberation in post-war Britain in The Idiot's Lantern.

Season 2, Episode 7 - The Idiot's Lantern

As I said above, this story touches some interesting topics beyond the main storyline of a parasitic energy being from outer space. Mr Connolly is clearly a nasty piece of work, mentally and physically abusive of his family, not to mention the kind of bloke who spies on and rats out his neighbours.

In many ways it feels as if Mark Gatiss is speaking to his own father with many of the lines here. It certainly seems to have it's basis in reality. Or maybe I'm just relating to it on some deep level. Either way, these kind of smaller, human problems intermingling with the larger intergalactic menaces make for far more engaging stories in my opinion. They show The Doctor doesn't just fix the big problems, but helps fix people too.

He does this by getting angry

This particular intergalactic menace is The Wire, a very hungry creature who is giving people cheap TV in order to suck their faces off and create a new body during the Queen's coronation. The Doctor first realises something is wrong when he notices all the TV antennae around. I'm not sure if the shape of the aerials was symbolic, but if it was I can't think what they could be getting at.

Something about license fees, maybe.

The Wire is a nicely creepy Big Boss, and its evil plot is solid, but the goons are yet another zombie style monster. The one thing that saves it is the fact that whilst the faceless people are slowly revealed in the same manner as a monster, they are in fact the harmless victims of the real monster. It's actually quite a nice red herring for The Doctor to follow, and plays out well.

Good thing these suit trousers are brown.

Interestingly, the basic premise of a disembodied entity stealing people's essences was recycled in the much poorer episode The Bells of Saint John. Having re-watched this episode, it further highlights the deficiencies in that story, which suffered major pacing issues as well as from having a stupid monster.

None of my usual gripes appeared in this episode, apart from a hint of Deus Ex Screwdriver when The Doctor uses it to scan for brainwaves. It's a bit sad that I'm desensitised to the Sonic being used like this now. Ah well.

So yeah, this is a solid episode that offers a multifaceted story. The Torchwood reference was subtle, and the whole thing moved along nicely to a happy ending for most of those involved.

8/10

Can we fix it?

No, not really. It's not going to be a fan favourite, but this is a solid plot with no major weaknesses. I'd probably leave it as is.

Review - Age of Steel

Continuing on from Rise of the Cybermen, we wrap up the return of this classic enemy with Age of Steel.

Season 2, Episode 6 - Age of Steel

We rejoin the chaos of the Cybermen uprising as the shiny suited monsters assault the Tyler mansion and humanity is rounded up for the final upgrade. With an army of Cybermen on the loose it is only a matter of time before that giant tree of foreshadowing from last episode bears fruit in the form of a brand new Ricky-shaped hole in the alternate dimension. And who was recently established to have nothing left for him in the regular dimension? A pity really, as I thought Mickey added to the group dynamic really well in the past two outings. He deported himself really well in The Girl in the Fireplace, and I think he could have been very interesting if he stayed for a bit longer.

DELETED!!!

The great factories of Cybus industries begin churning out masses of Cybermen, as the mind-controlled citizens of Earth march themselves to the upgrade chambers. Of course Lumic gets shafted by his henchman and is forced to upgrade into the Cyber Controller. I'm a bit mystified as to why the Cyber Controller sits in a cyber wheelchair. Surely with his weak flesh gone, he can ambulate for himself? Maybe it's just a status thing, like the little brain window.

And with a brain like that, why wouldn't you show it off?

Our intrepid group of freedom fighters plan their assault on the Cybus factory. In the belly of the beast they start to see the full horror of what's going on. We get some nice tension as the Cybermen in the tunnels begin waking up, as well as some emotional kicks to the guts when we have a run in with a converted bride and a newly made over Jackie Tyler.

Pictured: Jackie Tyler (probably)

Mickey ends up being crucial, which I was quite happy about. That guy got the rough end of the stick for a long time. He deserved to have a moment in the sun. Why is it that messing with any kind of robotic humanoid's programming makes their heads explode? A question for the ages, I suppose.

Overall this was a solid conclusion to an entertaining story.

8/10

Can we fix it?

As I've said before, the only real gripe I have with this story is the dual-origins of the Cybermen. With the changes I outlined for part one of this story, we can build a clearer picture on how these Cybers connect with the Mondas ones.

My proposed conversation between Rose and Pete towards the end of part one would have shown us the potential for the Cybus tech to take over the conscious mind. It is because of this potential for the computer to take control that Lumic has always been reluctant to use the technology himself, something we would see during his eventual transformation into the Cyber Controller.

Lumic - I can't be sure I will retain control. 

Cyberman - You will control all.

Once Lumic becomes the Cyber Controller, we can get some hints that he is now channelling some kind of overarching cyber network. His rhetoric swiftly changes from strengthening humanity to galactic conquest, maybe even with some hints at traversing dimensions.

The rest of the story could play out the same way, but these couple of changes just tidy up the dual origins situation a bit.

The Costume of The Doctor

So the BBC have released the first official image of Peter Capaldi's costume as the Twelfth Doctor.

To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It's a nice cut and good colour, but it's very plain and quite contemporary. The only bit of flash is the red lining of the coat, which is really only visible in this picture because they've strategically flipped the coat back to reveal it.

What happened to the kookiness in The Doctor's outfit? I'm not saying we need to go to the levels of Colin Baker's technicolour dream coat, or even Sylvester McCoy's question mark emblazoned sweater vest, but The Doctor has always shown a penchant for slightly left of field fashion.

The First Doctor had his funny little hat. Two has his tartan pants. Three stole a stage magician's costume. Four's outfit was a delightful mish-mash of clothing that somehow still worked as a whole. Things started going off the rails with Five and his celery and question marks, but the cricket whites were a good choice.

These costumes all spoke of a man who wasn't familiar with Earth dress, or didn't bother trying because you never know what's going to be in style where you're going anyway. It indicates a man eccentric enough to be unconcerned with fitting in, and maybe cheeky enough to have a subtle laugh at people too. Above all, it shows The Doctor is a man who is constantly out of time.

Sadly, since the reboot The Doctor has generally had rather sensible contemporary clothing. Nine had a t-shirt and leather jacket and ten had quite a nice suit (or two). Eleven took steps back to The Doctor of old, with that slightly out of time look. Having nicked his first outfit from an old man, it created that juxtaposition of a young bloke wearing old man clothes. Then we get a costume change with The Snowmen, and The Doctor gets all Steampunk. Frankly I'm surprised they didn't have him keep the top hat.

And here we are now with Twelve dragging us back to a boring contemporary suit. Such a missed opportunity. Maybe he'll get a cool hat.

Review - Rise of the Cybermen

Another classic Who Monster storms back, albeit with a rather clumsy retcon in Rise of the Cybermen.

Season 2, Episode 5 - Rise of the Cybermen

From the outset we know what the monster of this episode is because, much like Season 1's Dalek, it's in the title of the episode. That said, they do a great job of hiding the Cybers until right near the end of the episode. This is a major benefit of the two-parter. You get that awesome cliffhanger reveal.

Look out! A vaguely man-shaped blob!

We pick up the TARDIS Crew as they get smashed between realities and land in an alternate version of Earth. Of course Rose soon discovers her Dad is alive in this dimension, leading her to immediately run off to find him. Micky takes the opportunity to do the same thing whilst almost petulantly pointing out that The Doctor will always go after Rose. This gives us a chance to get some rather clumsily inserted back-story for Micky which unfortunately telegraphs his eventual fate pretty clearly. Let's be honest, "he doesn't have any family left" is a rather foreboding phrase to hear uttered, on par with "I'm two weeks from retirement," or, "I think I'll wear my red shirt for the trip to the mysterious planet's surface."

Mickey gets a chance to shine in this episode though, even if it is as an alternate version of himself. Ricky is a total bad-ass, a fact that somehow redeems Mickey's portrayal as a bit of a goofy, spineless doormat. He is ripped though, a fact we are made plainly aware of. The split screen with Mickey and Ricky are well done with only a couple of poorly synced lines when they're both on screen together.

Lumic is a nice Big Bad, although he positively reeks of Davros. A crippled genius determined to expunge weakness from his race. I think it's a real shame this reboot or retcon or whatever you want to call it makes the Cybermen a bit too much like the Daleks. I find the idea of a race voluntarily moving towards a new form to be far more compelling than that of one forced or tricked into change by one man. 

He does have better teeth than Davros though.

That said, the way Lumic's plot unfolds through this episode is nice. The small-scale start which ramps up to the roll out of industrial conversion works well. I would have liked to see Cybus cybernetic technology being used in more ways than the Ear Buds. Some cybernetic arms, legs and even eyes would have been not only shown people's willingness to upgrade their weak flesh, but reinforced the differentness of the alternate dimension. You know, beyond all the airships.

Airships are huge in alternate dimensions. Airships and goatees.

Rose's conversation with alternate-Jackie was well done and gave both actors some time to show their chops. I can't help but feel Jackie's outburst at the end was there less to remind us that Rose is not her daughter and more to make her less sympathetic in the lead up to her assimilation.

All up, this is a solid episode with few of the regular issues that really bug me. Rose and The Doctor still have an odd relationship. Is it romantic or paternal? It's not really a focus of the episode though, with the threat of Cybus clear from the off. Definitely up there amongst my favourites.

8/10

Can we fix it?

There's not too much that needs doing the the overall plot here, but I feel the setup and the linking of the classic Mondas Cybermen and the new Cybus ones needs a tweak.

First off, I'd change Lumic a tad. Make him less of a genius himself and more a rich industrialist using his wealth and influence to overcome his own body's weakness. At the same time we see him reluctant (possibly even scared) to actually use these developments himself. This could be shown to raise questions from some people. Why get about in a wheelchair when your company makes cybernetic legs? Why the respirator when you could have robo-lungs? This would raise a little flag early on that there is something dangerous about the upgrades.

Second, a slight tweak to the Cybus technology. With a pinch of Terminator 2 and a dash of Dollhouse, we can flesh out the background of the rise of Cybus Industries and at the same time reinforce those parallels with our own desires to constantly upgrade.

Early on, the TARDIS crew only realise the ear buds were unusual because everyone stops dead in the street to receive an update. Seriously, that's dangerous, and therefore stupid, so let's get rid of it. Instead Rose bumps into a man in the street who turns around to reveal a very Cyberman looking visor. Rose screams, to which the man replies, "I know, right? Brand new model. Camped out all week, but I was first in line to upgrade."

As he wanders off Rose comments that they look like uncomfortable sunglasses. The Doctor tells her they're not sunglasses. After this they start noticing more cyber technology. Clinics offering cyber upgrades. Workmen with cyber limbs with built-in tools. Maybe even an advert for the upcoming Cyber Games (sponsored by Cybus).

Later when Rose and Pete are talking, we would learn that one of Cybus' early breakthroughs was a neural link that allowed the human brain to interface directly with computers. This technology is at the heart of every Cybus product, and lets the brain control the computer as well as provide additional processing power. This partnership of brain and computer worries Rose and she asks what stops the computer being used to control the brain. Pete simply asks who would want to do that.

This conversation would reinforce earlier scattered hints that this original technology was derived from something alien. Very Terminator 2, I know, but having Lumic discover parts of a ruined Mondas Cyberman avoids the odd dual origin. Weather the original specimen is from an alternate Mondas that didn't thrive, or had washed up as dimensional flotsam in a similar manner to how the TARDIS ended up there, it doesn't matter.

We end this episode on the same note, but with a clearer connection between the original Cybermen and this new breed.

Review - The Time Of The Doctor

Matt Smith bows out as The Doctor in this years much awaited Christmas Special, The Time Of The Doctor.

Christmas Special 2013 - The Time Of The Doctor

First up, a quick apology for the almost one month delay in getting this up, but my original no-fixes review went up a while ago on Geek-O-Rama.net and it really did take a lot of thought to figure out how to fix this one. But on to the review.

Oh my good God. I'm so glad I didn't watch this immediately, it would have spoiled my Christmas buzz. This was not only a total shambles of a story that packed in a whole bunch of unnecessary sexual innuendo, but it revisited almost every reference from Smith's tenure that annoys me. Ordinarily this is where I would say, "but it was all worth it for the twenty seconds of Peter Capaldi at the end", but seriously, it wasn't.

To start with, the relationship between The Doctor and Clara continues to be confused, with her confirmation she "fancied him" whilst bringing The Doctor in as a fake boyfriend despite him originally getting the wrong end of the stick and pretty much saying he'd be up for the real deal. I must say I am hoping for a dramatic reduction in this sort of thing with Capaldi as Twelve. It's just so boring.

The In-Who-Endos fly thick and fast in the opening minutes. I mean, what was the deal with the hologram clothes? The concept of being nude in church is an interesting one, being bare before God and so forth, but with no explanation, and in combination with Tasha Lem's alter-shaped bed, I'm left assuming that it's just there to poke fun at religion by sexualising it.

*Deftly avoids joke abut Holy of Holies*

It's not the first time I've sensed this kind of jab at organised religion in a Moffat story, either. Previous appearances such as The Time of Angels / Flesh and Stone and A Good Man Goes To War saw The Church as largely Anglican, and the prominence of openly gay couple The Fat One and The Thin One was either a reference to the already evolving Anglican Church (female ministers etc) or just a cheap gay joke. With Moffat it's hard to tell. Now we see The Church as being somehow related to a very Catholic sounding Papal Mainframe.

We also saw a big slab of Hunka Hunka Burning Doc with The Doctor and Tasha Lem. Their sexual banter was so overt that I found myself waiting for the reveal that she was somehow a regenerated River Song. When did The Doctor have the time to develop this kind of long-term sexual relationship with a woman who wasn't River? It clearly wasn't as Eleven, so was Ten putting it about even more than we realised? It was all so unnecessary though. None of it added to the story one iota, and the flash of naked Matt Smith at the start seemed pure fan-service.

 

It was as if a million fan-girls cried out in pleasure.

Again, we have a case of Too Many Monsters, although it did seem to make some sense as to why they were there. I worried when the teaser came out because it was cut in a way that made it seem the whole thing was a set-up, much like the Pandorica plot-line. The teasers also had me face-palming at the return of the Silence, but again, in context they were relevant. I actually liked the idea that they were professional confessors, but after a second thought, It doesn't make much sense because half the point of confession is the act of confession, so even if you are getting some kind of post-hypnotic suggestion of penance, you're losing all the psychological benefits of confession by forgetting that you've actually done it. I was also quite upset for the Sontarins, who seem to have been relegated to comic relief. Don't get me wrong, Strax is a great character and pulls off comic relief well, but to make all Sontarins appear inept and stupid is a real shame.

 

One of the most fearsome military forces in the universe. No, seriously.

The episode just seemed a ham-fisted attempt to tie all of Eleven's season arcs into one grand overarching plot. Unfortunately instead of a mind-blowing climax to everything we've seen the past four years, all we got was a self-referential mish-mash with no real direction beyond tying up all of the loose ends. But you know what? Sometimes loose ends are a good thing. Case in point, the only thing that wasn't resolved was the return of Gallifrey. In a way I am looking forward to that being The Doctor's main objective moving forward. I hope it can be left unresolved for a long time, much like the holy scriptures in Monkey.

The whole thing just seemed to drag, and when I wasn't groaning because of some fresh innuendo or the reappearance of those thrice-damned Weeping Angels, I was checking to see how much longer it had to go. By the time we got to see the regeneration, I was over it. Capaldi's final line was a classic though.

 

Can you fly this thing?

I won't be rushing out to watch this one again.

4/10

Can we fix it?

I'm really struggling to see how we can fix this without a ground-up re-write. The entire episode seemed geared towards cramming in as many references to Eleven's tenure as possible, which sadly left little room for an actual story.

The bare bones of the episode, the Timelords calling through the crack, is a solid premise, but it just wasn't effectively played out. Many elements seem to have been included purely to fit with the existing prophesy, making for a rather jumbled scenario.

My main beef with the basic premise is the concept of the "Truth Field", which seems to me to be something an advanced race like the Timelords would have little trouble bypassing. I mean every man and his dog can recognize psychic paper now, so surely The Doctor wouldn't be susceptible to something like that. It seems to really only be there to fulfil the conditions of the prophesy. If it had to stay for that reason, at least have it that the Timelords knew The Doctor could still lie in a Truth Field but were using it to screen out "lesser" life forms.

And in the end, even though the Truth Field covers the bit of the prophesy that states, "when no living thing can speak falsely" it fails to address the next bit, specifically, "or fail to answer." The Doctor fails to answer for 300 years. Hell, he fails to answer at all, in the end. I really thought the prophesy was referring to the events of The Name of The Doctor where he was being forced to speak his name, and would have considered the matter resolved at that point.

The connection to The Silence could have been better too. Madame Kovarian should have featured, possibly as a subordinate to Tasha Lem who argues with her about how to handle the situation. Kovarian ultimately takes a group of followers and time travels to attempt to kill The Doctor. This removes the need for Lem's Faith Change, which felt really forced in.

The Papal Mainframe could also remain a neutral party maintaining the lockout of the planet, meaning the small incursions faced by The Doctor actually make sense as small groups penetrate the defenses. This also removes the need for the stupid human Daleks, which were an idiotic idea in Asylum of the Daleks, and completely unnecessary here.

With a tighter opening and none of the sexual innuendo, we can move to the actual siege quicker and then spend more time on the individual conflicts rather than an 80s style montage. This would lead up to the final battle after Lem is killed by the Daleks rather than assimilated.

It still wouldn't be great, but most of the major issues would be gone and it'd feel less forced.