Review - Mummy on the Orient Express

The Doctor and Clara go for their "last hoora" with a relaxing train ride that turns out to be less relaxing than planned in Mummy on the Orient Express.

Season 8, Episode 8 - Mummy on the Orient Express

The cold open shows us everything we need to know for the premise of this episode. A woman is killed by a monster only she can see, and this is happening on a train, which for some reason is in space. The on screen timer is a neat little device and clues us in to the time limit before The Doctor has it explained later on.

After the tense ending to Kill the Moon, Clara has resolved to end her adventuring with one more little jaunt to space. The whole dynamic is that of a couple who know the relationship is dying but are desperately trying to end on good terms. Uncomfortable and slightly melancholy.

The episode plays out at a good pace with hints and clues nicely woven into the dialogue, rather than ham-fistedly slapped in just as they're needed. Moments of character development between The Doctor and Clara are well balanced with the more tense investigation and action during attacks by the Foretold. As the attacks increase in frequency, the tension rises and things come to a head nicely.

The Foretold itself was creepy, even if it was yet another "advance slowly and act menacing" type of monster. At least the 66.6 seconds rule kind of justified that and removed the whole, "why don't you just run away" thing.

"I'm much more spry than I look."

The Doctor maintains the detached alien nature we have seen throughout this season, which is a stress point in his relationship with Clara. He of course gets a chance to kind of explain himself at the end, but whilst he is still the same Doctor in that he wants to solve problems and save people, he seems to now have the ability to switch off. I can't really see Ten or Eleven methodically pumping a doomed person for information with out at least saying, "I'm so, so sorry."

I was disappointed to see yet another thing that can supposedly stop the Sonic Screwdriver. What is it this time? Some kind of "interference field," apparently. This is the main symptom of Deus Ex Screwdriver, and I'm not sure why they couldn't have stuck with one of the established weaknesses instead of making a new one. Hell, they could have said the shoe had cause some kind of issue that meant it would take time to open the lock. Time The Doctor didn't have, because he kinda got arrested.

Ultimately the solution comes about reasonably well, if a bit coincidentally. The fact that Perkins has something to do with it was nice, even if the rest of the scientists in the room seem nothing but window dressing. The Doctor shouldn't always be the only person to have any fun.

Frank Skinner as Perkins is a definite highlight in this episode, and helps to elevate it from merely satisfactory to very enjoyable. Any time The Doctor is challenged by someone is great fun. The offer of Companion status was actually quite exciting, as I could see Perkins' dry wit fitting into the TARDIS crew nicely. I hope to see him return at some point.

"Ooooh, yeah, I see your problem, Guv. Won't be cheap. Can't get the parts, you see."

The decision to not reveal the identity of whomever was pulling the strings here was definitely the right one. Knowing wouldn't have offered any additional value to the episode, and it leaves a thread hanging which could be tied into something else later on. I was also glad to see no season arc reference here, even though one could easily have been slotted in as it has in previous episodes this season.

The episode is book-ended by Clara's attempt to resolve her relationships with The Doctor and Danny. Instead of a grown up resolution though, we see a continuation of the "other man" theme which was the main driver of The Caretaker. Much of the final scene could easily be taken out of context and applied to a romantic or sexual situation. This is a great shame, because it seemed a bit of work had gone into sending Clara down the path of breaking up with The Doctor, only to have her ignore that and go on with the deception that caused all the trouble in the first place. Add to that the conversation between Clara and Maisie, where there is uncertainty around the nature of the whole relationship, and we are treading the dark path of Hunka hunka burning Doc again.

Despite all the confused relationship stuff, this is a tight story that plays out well with a believable threat and likeable characters. It's not perfect, but it's a good, solid effort.

8/10

Can we fix it?

Ordinarily I would say we could lose a good chunk of the Doctor / Clara relationship stuff, but honestly, the episode doesn't suffer for it. Instead I'd try to refocus some of it to clarify this isn't a girl trying to work out which man she loves, but is instead about a girl choosing between two lifestyles. She loves one man so much that she is now facing the inevitable putting away of childish things. The love of Danny Pink has given her something to lose should her dangerous lifestyle finally catch up with her. 

This stuff is all there, but it keeps getting clouded with ambiguous romantic implications. I say, get rid of the ambiguity, just as they finally did with Amy Pond when they showed her talking to Baby Melody about Rory. If Maisie must ask if there is a romantic relationship there, Clara should shut it down immediately. 

"No, I have a boyfriend. He's great. I love him. The Doctor is just a friend. Someone to get in trouble with."
"And what does your boyfriend think about that?"
"He doesn't like trouble. He's had enough of that in his life already."
"But you do like it, don't you?"
"Well... I mean, it's not like I need it."

A little exchange like this would make it clear that Clara loves Danny and sees The Doctor as a kind of Partner in Crime type of friend. It would also tie in with the talk of addiction at the end, making the closing scene less like someone plotting continued infidelity and more like a junkie justifying their next binge.

Review - The Caretaker

Clara's two worlds combine as The Doctor does a bit of moonlighting at the Coal Hill School in The Caretaker.

Season 8, Episode 6 - The Caretaker

This episode begins with a montage showing Clara struggling to live two lives at once, her "normal" life as a teacher with Danny Pink, and her life adventuring in time and space as The Doctor's Companion. This whole montage draws the parallel of a woman cheating on her partner, and in that it succeeds reasonably well. We get the distinct impression that something's going to give pretty soon.

After The Doctor leaves Clara behind to go "Undercover" She appears to have time to focus on Danny, but naturally The Doctor is going undercover at Coal Hill School as John Smith, the temporary replacement Caretaker. Hilarity ensues.

I love a comedy dust-coat

The Threat of the Skovox Blitzer is fairly minor, which is fine, because The Doctor straight up tells us he can handle it easily. There is no discovery of the threat, as The Doctor already knows about it. There is no investigation, as The Doctor already has a plan, and even when that goes wrong he seems to figure out a fall-back plan with minimal fuss. Sadly, if the majority of screen time doesn't even involve the monster of the week in any way, the focus of this episode becomes Danny's discovery of Clara's life with The Doctor.

Pictured: minor sub-plot

This all puts the episode squarely in the category of The Companion Show Featuring The Doctor. In retrospect this has been a bit of a trend throughout the season, particularly in Listen, but so far it's not taken up the majority of an episode. I thought (or hoped) we'd gotten past this issue once Clara stopped being The Most Important Person In The Universe™. Once the mystery of her origin was solved, she could become just another travelling companion for The Doctor. Hopefully the resolution of the Danny situation will reduce the focus on Clara and allow The Doctor more time in the limelight.

The scene with The Doctor mistaking Adrian for Clara's boyfriend was strange and has left me feeling a bit annoyed. There's two ways to take this. One, general arrogance from The Doctor that Clara would want someone who looked like he did, because that means she still wants him; or two, a fairly obscure kind of paternal feeling where The Doctor would only approve of someone who was somehow like him. I'd like to think it was meant to be option two, but something tells me that's not really what they were going for here.

The Doctor's irrational hatred of soldiers outlined in Into The Dalek was clearly designed to work with this episode, but despite this not fitting with established canon (The Doctor has been friends with several soldiers), Danny's response to The Doctor was actually pretty awesome.

Yet again we are treated to a scene in the Nethersphere, but this time Missy seems to have her cranky pants on and is reportedly "too busy" to deal with the poor dead policeman. For the first time since the Promised Land arc began, I am actually intrigued. I still don't really care who Missy is, but my interest is piqued as to why she would be annoyed.

Maybe ask for that raise another time

Overall, this is a pretty nothing episode. It does well enough considering it's entire point is to get The Doctor and Danny introduced to each other, it's just I like my light science fiction show about aliens and time travel to focus a bit less on a single character's love life and more on, you know, the aliens and time travel.

6/10

Can we fix it?

I wouldn't go so far as to say it was impossible to fix this one, but it would take a lot. The threat of the Skovox Blitzer would need to be somewhat enhanced to start with. More needs to be made of The Doctor discovering it and deciding to get the job at Coal Hill. It would also be good to find a way of pushing the Clara / Danny thing to the background a bit.

First up, The Doctor would not refuse Clara's help. She would refuse to help him. The Doctor discovers the Skovox is around, and comes to Clara asking for help. Before he is able to explain the threat or how she is needed, Clara refuses on the grounds she needs to concentrate more on Danny, telling The Doctor she's sure he can handle this one alone.

What we don't learn immediately is that The Doctor wanted Clara's help to place the devices around Coal Hill, which he has determined is the best place to displace the time vortex because of a weakness in the space / time etc. When Clara refuses to even listen, he is forced to assume the position of Caretaker in order to follow through with his plan.

When Clara berates him and he reveals what the threat is, The Doctor can then throw Clara's own words back at her, telling her he can handle it himself. This would also add another dimension to the negativity towards Danny. The Doctor is jealous, but not in a romantic way, just that Clara's attention is elsewhere. Why is spending time with him more important that fighting alien robots? The Doctor could even specifically ask her that, only to be answered with Clara's revelation that she loves Danny. There's really not much you can come back with at that point.

So in true Doctor fashion, he just throws a tantrum at Danny and blames him for the failure of Plan A. The rest would probably have to play out in a similar manner, except have Parent Teacher Night held in the same hall the Time Vortex is set to appear in, increasing the threat to innocent bystanders. They think things will be okay, but when the Vortex begins to appear earlier than The Doctor calculated, they resort to pulling a fire alarm or something to get everyone out.

It wouldn't be great, and would still suffer from being focussed too much on Clara's relationships, but it would have a more solid set-up and make slightly better use of a deadly alien robot.

Review - Doomsday

It's double the classic foes as Daleks and Cybermen clash with humanity trapped in the middle in Doomsday.

Season 2, Episode 13 - Doomsday

This episode picks up where Army of Ghosts left off, just as the Daleks escape the Void Ship. Rose and Micky stare them down as Rose postpones their inevitable slaughter by showing she has a strategic use. Meanwhile, the Cybermen begin their conquest of Earth as The Doctor stands by helpless. Of course our old friend Angry Doctor shows up again briefly as he explains why humanity is resisting.

I'm a bit cross!

As the Daleks extract Raj's brainwaves for intel, desiccating him in the process for some reason, the Cybermen move in to investigate. The resulting confrontation is one of the funniest moments in New Who. Two supremely confident murderous races in a stand off refusing to back down. Some of the lines delivered by the Daleks in this verbal fracas are a little off base. A little too blusterous and even witty. This is a bit off-putting until later when we learn from The Doctor that these Daleks are special.

The Cult of Skaro is an interesting concept, and works quite well despite being very un-Dalek. Most large militaries have similar units for, well, I suppose it's R&D. Whilst the Daleks are supremely confident of their might, it makes sense even they would want to work out better ways to EXTERMINATE! It also makes sense that such deviant behaviour be kept secret, regardless (or even because) of the benefits it offers.

After discovering The Doctor is on the scene, the Daleks begin powering up this episode's MacGuffin of choice, the Genesis Ark, as Rose and Mickey try to work out both how to get out of their predicament and why they aren't yet dead. Turns out the Daleks need a time traveller to activate the Ark because it it Timelord tech. Here's the major flaw in the Dalek plot. If Rose and Mickey weren't there, how were they planning on doing this? Fly around the Universe hoping to find a time traveller?

I was sure there was one here last time we visited.

The Doctor is held for questioning as Jackie and Yvonne Hartman are marched off for Upgrading. The Doctor is freed by a squad of dimension-jumping commandos led by some old friends from Rise of the Cybermen / Age of Steel, and gives a bit more plot exposition about the Void and how all this dimension jumping is irreparably damaging both universes. Hartman marches bravely to her doom, claiming she "did her duty for Queen and Country", before the death of the Cyber Commander allows Jackie to slip away.

Just as Rose is about to capitulate and touch the Genesis Ark, The Doctor rolls up, but not before Rose has a chance to drop some proper bad-assery on the Daleks, referencing the Bad Wolf arc and revealing she killed the Emperor Dalek. The Doctor rescues Rose and Mickey, managing to get a little joke about the Sonic in while he's at it.

Doesn't Kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do.It is very good at opening doors.

But Mickey messes up and accidentally starts the Genesis Ark opening. This leads to a significant battle between the Daleks and the remaining Humans and Cybermen as the Daleks attempt to exit the building. Long story short, an entire Time Lord prison ship's worth of Daleks spew forth from the Ark and begin to EXTERMINATE!

After a rather uncomfortable reunion between Jackie and Dave, The Doctor reveals his plan to suck everything back into The Void. This relies on the fact that everything that's been through The Void is covered in "void stuff." This is particularly grating, because The Doctor has already gone to great pains to describe how The Void has nothing in it, not even time. So what is the "Void Stuff" then? Also, why do Cybermen who have been upgraded in this universe also have it?

Quite apart from that, the plan works, and all of the invaders are forcefully ejected from the universe. However Rose almost gets sucked out too, only to be saved last minute by a dimension-jumping Dave, leaving The Doctor alone on this side. This leads to the scene voted the greatest moment in Sci-Fi, Horror and Fantasy. The emotion is turned up to 11 as The Doctor says farewell to Rose via a projected image. Despite being slightly over the top, it's a brilliant close to Rose's time with The Doctor.

This one's not exactly a favourite, but pretty re-watchable.

8/10

Can we fix it?

I'm not sure there's a lot to do here. As I said previously, making Yvonne Hartman a bit more officious would have improved her final redemption. If it was made clearer early on that duty is her main drive, her ability to retain that after upgrading would work a little better. I'd also like to have seen her more deflated when she realised there was no winning against the Cybermen.

I'm not sure if a bit of pleading would have been too much before the final acceptance, but I think a little exchange with the Cybers on doing her duty could fit nicely.

Y: I did my duty for Queen and Country. I always did my duty.
C: And that will not change.

And a slight tweak to her repeated phrase from "I did my duty" to "I will do my duty" reinforces this. It gives us a little bit of doubt on why she retained control. Was it pure willpower, or some kind of programming loophole. The tears would just add to the fuzziness.

The only other thing that needs clearing up is the Cybers created in this Earth. I think a quick line during The Doctor's epilogue in Bad Wolf Bay could tie up that loose plot thread. Something along the lines of "There were a lot of humans who had been upgraded using components from the alternate universe. It was... messy."

A good season ending and a great way to send off a companion.

And introduce a new one.

Review - Boom Town

After wearing out the edge of my seat over the past two episodes, I was able to firmly plant both cheeks on it for the rather ponderous Boom Town.

Season 1, Episode 11 - Boom Town

There was pretty much no reveal in this episode, which is understandable considering the villain. We know Margret's face from Aliens of London / World War Three, so there's no real reason to keep the Slitheen hidden. Strange how the farting seemed less of an issue in this episode. We get a few early on, but not one during the date. Perhaps Margret was holding it in. I suppose we've all been there on a first date.

Jack continues to prove a valuable addition to the cast. The dynamic is great with the three of them. Sadly Mickey, who gained ground in the competency stakes in Aliens of London / World War Three is set up as the stooge of this episode. He's specifically shown in a shot for shot comparison to not match up to Captain Jack, and I think overall he is once again, unfairly treated.

Things get a bit philosophical in parts. There's lots of deep back and forth which all boils down to nature vs nurture. We get a bit of a theme of new beginnings here, both for Blaine and for Mickey. I was so happy to see Mickey give Rose a serve here. God knows she deserved it. And it was a sweet serve too:

We were nice. We were happy. And then what? You give me a kiss and run off with him and so make me feel like nothing, Rose. I was nothing.

Just what needed saying.

This episode had a lot of tie-ins to the season arc. The Doctor actively recognised the Bad Wolf connection, and although he supposedly brushed it off as a coincidence, we all know he's worried about it. We also get introduced to The Heart of the TARDIS, cutting down on the exposition needed there. Of course, the TARDIS having to refuel sort of goes against the established background of the Eye of Harmony which reappears to contradict this again in Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS.

Of course, the In-Who-Endo keeps coming with Jack still around. Even The Doctor got in on it, implying he'd give Jack some sugar if Jack bought him a drink. Mickey at least pointed it out, calling Jack "Captain Innuendo". I do think Blaine's line to The Doctor, "Dinner and bondage. Works for me" was a step too far.

...aaaaand we're back to horror.

We also get another instance of shocking Deus Ex Screwdriver, with The Doctor "de-teleporting" Blaine several times. How is that even supposed to work?

Sadly, the whole episode drags horribly. There's a lot of talk, which in itself is well played out and touches some interesting themes, but unfortunately the actual threat is underdeveloped. The ending seemed a bit rushed, with anything really threatening happening in the last 10 minutes.

We've been talking for half an hour and the kids are losing interest.Quick, make something explode!

It was a bit of a cop out, really. Quite literally Deus Ex Machina, with the TARDIS acting as a Genie to grant wishes and make everything all right again. I'd have preferred to see what The Doctor would actually have done with Blaine.

This isn't one I'd go out of my way to re-watch.

5/10

Can we fix it?

This would pretty much require a total re-write. All we can really do is minimise the damage by cutting out the big-ticket problems.

The de-teleport gag was only mildly amusing, and not worth giving the Sonic Screwdriver more power for. I'd have dumped it altogether, or have The Doctor come up with some other way of interrupting the teleport signal and looping it. It could even have come out funnier if The Doctor didn't seem to actually be doing anything until he pulls out a small device, revealing it to be a "short-range teleport interference loop" or similar.

Much of the meat of this episode deals with the moral dilemma The Doctor should be facing. It really feels like the audience is being ripped off by having that dilemma neatly taken away. I just can't think how else to end the story though. I'd like to think we could have been introduced to the Hearth of the TARDIS without the egg ending, but also then have The Doctor show mercy despite Blaine's actions, warning her he'llbe keeping an eye on her.

It still wouldn't be a great episode, but I'd have less to complain about.

Hunka hunka burning Doc

"Why is it," I ask myself with shocking regularity, "that nearly every woman who comes in contact with The Doctor wants to cut herself off a piece of that?"

My earliest memories of The Doctor are of him being a nearly asexual being. Yes, The Doctor has, at some point in the past been married and had children (and Grandchildren), but for whatever reason he seemed to have moved on from all that. On the occasions when romantic entanglements happened around him, he treated them as annoyances or curiosities. When he recognised them at all

He was too intelligent for sex.

Nowadays he still seems a little awkward on most occasions when he gets female attention, but he is also quite frequently seen putting it about. There have been implications of sex between The Doctor and Madame de Pompadour, Queen Elizabeth I, and River Song at least. I'm likely forgetting some other subtle references too.

Funny? Sure. Necessary? Probably not

And that's just the people he actually reciprocates with. There's a whole host of ladies who lined up unsuccessfully to have a crack at him too.

The funny thing is, the ladies didn't start throwing themselves at The Doctor until he regenerated from Christopher Eccleston into the slightly more pleasing form of David Tennant. Even Rose doesn't really show any full-blown romantic feelings until after this point. Things have only gotten worse with Matt Smith, and it's kind of dumbing the show down.

He's becoming too sexy for intelligence.

I do wonder if the appointment of increasingly youthful actors in the role of The Doctor is the cause or an effect of this. By which I mean, did they want to add sexual tension and got a Doctor they thought could realistically pull it off, or did the better looking Doctor give them the confidence (or audience demand) to include the sexual tension?

I've previously linked to an article which quoted Steven Moffat on why the Companions are all attractive young girls:

I think the function of a companion is pretty simple. I don’t think that’s very difficult. It’s just a question of who credibly is going to agree to go in the TARDIS? Who’s going to do it? Is it going to be a mother of 15 children? No. Is it going to be someone in their 60s? No. Is there going to be a particular age range? I mean … who’s going to have a crush on the Doctor? You know, come on! It’s more than a format. It’s evolved from good, dramatic reasons.

And this makes sense to a degree, but this is one of those statements that confuses correlation with causation. Yes, hot young girls who have a crush on The Doctor have a reason for running off with him, but that doesn't mean only hot young girls who have a crush on The Doctor have a reason for running off with him. The statement also neatly ignores Donna Noble.

Can we fix it?

Of course we can; very easily. Stop writing women that want The Doctor, at least not all the time. And if you do, make sure it's for a reason. Was there a reason for Nefertiti to be all over The Doctor? Not that I could see.

And give us Companions that have more motivation for traveling with The Doctor than "He's a bit of alright." There is a bunch of other logical reasons a person may want to go off adventuring, and they're almost all more interesting.

Things only got back on track with Amy Pond after The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang where Amy and Rory's relationship solidified, and the relationship between Companion and Doctor worked much better with the sexual tension removed.

Sadly, we couldn't go the length of a whole Christmas Special without Clara jumping on The Doctor for a big ol' smoocharoo. I literally faceplamed at that point. The episode was in no way richer for it's inclusion, and it felt very, very forced.

The only female Companion to not have the hots for him was Donna Noble. Having seen the Catherine Tate Show before she appeared in The Runaway Bride, my opinion was already soiled of how she'd be as a Companion (I wasn't a fan). I didn't really like The Runaway Bride much and I was dreading her inclusion as a full-time Companion, but it turns out she was a perfect foil for The Doctor, and she is actually my favourite of the new Companions. And with no sexual tension too.

I would kill for that again.